


Words, Words, Words

by formosus_iniquis



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fake AH Crew, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 10:59:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3117671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/formosus_iniquis/pseuds/formosus_iniquis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael wondered if Bonnie and Clyde had to deal with this shit, or any other criminal in the last like century, or if it was just him who had to deal with a life of crime and having one of the most prominent identifiers of anyone in the business. Soulmates, yeah cool, that’s great until you’ve got a body full of first words that make it so anyone who sees you can immediately identify you as that guy who stuck up the bank the one they saw on the news last night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words, Words, Words

Michael wondered if Bonnie and Clyde had to deal with this shit, or any other criminal in the last like century, or if it was just him who had to deal with a life of crime and having one of the most prominent identifiers of anyone in the business. Soulmates, yeah cool, that’s great until you’ve got a body full of first words that make it so anyone who sees you can immediately identify you as that guy who stuck up the bank the one they saw on the news last night. So maybe the whole soulmates thing works out great for people like Lindsay aka the famed assassin Ruby Rose, who only has one freaking soulmate which means one set of first words, and they’re on her back of all places she really won the soulmate genetic lottery at least for someone in their line of work. But Michael, who as far as he could tell, had five different soulmates; and the first things that they would say to him when they met him were covering a lot of available skin and it was fucking annoying. 

And okay, maybe he’d given this rant before, “You know when I agreed to act as cover fire for you I didn’t think I was signing up to listen to your bitch fest again. Not only is this not my weapon of choice, but most people pay me for this.”

“Yeah well most people don’t know that the easiest way to keep Ruby Rose from killing them is to throw a cat at her feet and keep running, and now I owe you one so it’s fine.”

Lindsay was silent for a moment, "Touché. If it’s any consolation, the leather jacket looks dashing.”

“Not real concerned about seeming dashing Linds, worried more about getting out of here alive."

"Are you trying to say you don't trust me as your lookout?"

Michael heard a shot ring out over the ear piece they were using and knew she'd just taken someone out, someone who probably would have either killed or captured him. "Not what I'm saying at all, Lindsay. I'm just saying you already said this isn’t your weapon of choice and it’d be great to have someone where it was. Like Ray,” he muttered the last two words hoping that Lindsay wouldn’t be able to pick them up.

“I know you didn’t just say that to me Michael Jones. If I weren’t getting a cut of this convenience store robbery I would shoot you where you stand.”

“Who said you were getting a cut, what part of ‘Lindsay I’ll owe you one’ says that I’ll owe you one and you get some of my money.”

Lindsay was not deterred. “I am potentially ruining my pristine record of flawless kills. There isn’t a man, woman, or person who falls somewhere in between or outside of the gender binary that Ruby Rose has set out to kill who has lived to tell the tale. I am not going to tarnish my reputation of being the best assassin this side of the country, arguably in the country period, and not get a little piece of the action.”

“What about Yang?” Michael asked knowing it would rile Lindsay up, and he would do just about anything if it meant that she didn’t yell at him for bringing up Ray.

“How dare you!” She fired off a warning shot and Michael jumped away as the bullet clipped the ground a foot away from him.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Lindsay. What was that about flawless kills again?”

“When I want you dead you’ll know it, fucking Yang Christ. I let that Ray comment go, you haven’t even met the guy in person and you’re thirsting after him.”

Michael stopped his running, a mistake because the police were like right behind him, “I’m not thirsting after anyone. He’s the best sniper for hire there is, sorry I’d rather have him on the roof behind me.”

Lindsay was silent and Michael heard a thud behind him, he saw a cop who’d been following him dead on the ground with his gun not far from his body, “Keep running. I can’t call in my favor if you're dead, dumbass.”

A few minutes later, he met her up on the roof she was sniping from and he sat down beside her, back resting against the raised lip of the building that Lindsay had been using to balance her rifle. As he slid down the wall to sit next to her she punched him in the arm. “Ow, what the fuck was that for?”

“Don’t you dare compare me to any other assassin in the area, ever.” Lindsay said the look in her eye reminding Michael just why she was one of the most feared criminals in the city, “Not Blake, not Weiss, and _not_ Yang.”

“I thought you guys were friends?” Michael asked feeling genuinely confused.

“As much as you can be friends with your competition and with people you’ve only spoken to through text, email, and the odd phone call, but then you’d know all about that. What’s got your dick so wet about the BrownMan?”

“My dick has no thoughts at all about Ray.” Michael said, glad that the dark roof hid his red cheeks. “Except that he’s the best sniper money can buy on either side of the country and he could have been the one saving my dick when the cops showed.”

“Hmm yeah, and sucking your dick after.”

“Oh fuck off. We started building a name for ourselves in the same area and then we’ve both moved out to Los Santos and continued to make a name for ourselves. It’s just… we know what the other guy went through. Plus he’s a kickass Halo player.”

“Which is how the two of you met in the first place I know, I’ve heard the story more times than I can count.”

“Fine then,” Michael said, a little pissed and a little embarrassed that he hadn’t realized just how much he talked about Ray with Lindsay, “what’s got your fucking panties in a bunch? You never get this pissy when Yang gets brought up.”

“She swiped my fucking kill last night!” Lindsay shouted, and clearly she’d been waiting for someone to ask that question.

“Alright, I thought you guys did that sometimes. Didn’t you snipe some guy Weiss was after like last week?”

“Yeah but I didn’t leave a note behind for when she finally got there, to rub it in her face.”

“I’m sure she wasn’t rubbing it in your face, and even if she were I mean she did take your kill so…”

“If you say she deserved the right to mock, I’ll cut your dick off Michael Jones,” Lindsay warned.

“Fine, fine. So what’s the big deal about this note anyway? You usually don’t get upset about stupid stuff like this.”

“It was handwritten.” And that was all she needed to say, everything made a lot more sense now. 

Having a tattoo that magically appears of the first thing your soulmate will say to you face to face is one thing, but nature came up with a solution for those unlucky people who got something like ‘hi’ or ‘do you have the time’ as their tattoo. All tattoos are written in your soulmate’s handwriting, that way you could actually figure out if the stranger on the bus that apologized to you was actually your soulmate. All through school, children focused on making their handwriting as unique and legible as possible. So that on your soulmate’s sixteenth birthday, or if your soulmate was older than you on your sixteenth birthday, the tattoo that would appear would be easy to read and it would be easy to identify the person who left you with it. If their handwriting is too similar to someone else’s you could still count on the ink being in a color that was significant to them. Michael got to experience both sides of the tattooing, he woke up on his sixteenth birthday and found three different sets of colors and handwriting decorating his body. Orange wrapping around his left wrist and forearm, blue down his right side, and yellow across the top of his back. He woke up nearly a year later with another set of handwriting, this one green, curling down around his right bicep. Then the year after his fourth tattoo appeared, he found himself staring at purple writing decorating his collarbones. A total of five, and nine years later no more had shown up. Which was probably good because while the age of consent was sixteen now, given that’s when those tattoos started appearing, it was still creepy when you saw some old dude walking down the street with someone who’d clearly not had their tattoo for too long.

“I thought you said it was that the cute blonde from the coffee shop, the one you refuse to talk to.” Michael said thinking back to the conversation they’d had a couple weeks ago.

“I don’t refuse to talk to her, she’s just always in the back making drinks.”

“Yeah but the people making the drinks don’t usually write your name on the cup,” Michael pointed out, “and you said you had seen her handwriting.”

“She wrote a pun on my cup one day,” Lindsay said, and Michael was sure that if he could see her face more clearly that it would be as red as her hair. She defensively added, “So maybe I haven’t spoken to her face to face, but I don’t want the soulmate tattoo she has to be something stupid, like caramel macchiato.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be that because that isn’t your coffee order and that’s one of the hazards of a job like that Linds. Not to mention that shit’s kinda predestined. She would have had caramel macchiato, or whatever the fuck, written somewhere on her since the day one of you turned sixteen.”

“That’s stupid though, and apparently it doesn’t matter because now my soulmate is supposed to be Yang and I don’t even know what she looks like, just that she’s a kill stealing jerk.”

“Have you stopped to think that maybe they’re the same person? I mean you have two jobs, maybe she does too.”

“Yeah, but I do voice acting cause I can shift my schedule around and no one sees my face on a too regular basis. She’s a barista at some hipster coffee place.”

“A coffee place that you are at like all the fucking time,” Michael interrupted.

“ _So,_ ” Lindsay continued,“it’s more likely that they’re two different people and I should just expect it to be Yang.”

“I’m not following,” Michael said.

“You know what they say about people almost always finding their soulmate through their job. Similar jobs mean similar interests, it’s just common sense.”

“I think you’re crazy. Actually no, I’m pretty damn sure you’re crazy. Now let’s get out of here, the cops should have given up and cleared out by now.”

“Yeah you go ahead, I’m going to hang back for a little while. Don’t want to get caught leaving together do we?”

“Why would that matter, like at all?” Michael asked Lindsay, his tone of voice letting her know just how stupid he thought that was. Then he realized what was really happening, “Oh you fucking asshole! Yang has a hit she’s going out on tonight! That’s why you fucking agreed to help me, because you needed to be in the area. Fuck you, I’m taking my money and my favor back. You don’t get shit!”

“Oh come on, Michael,” Lindsay said, voice tinged with what could be called pleading if Michael thought she were capable of it, “I just have to see. If I take her kill and leave a note, maybe with a place to meet me, then I can see if it’s Yang that has cursed me with this awful pun on my back for all of eternity.”

Michael sighed, “Fine, but if you’re gonna leave a place to meet make sure it’s in public. I don’t want to hear that Lindsay Tuggey was found murdered because she thought it’d be cool to meet up with an assassin in some secluded place. Also, the pun is a good line. You gotta give her props for that dude.”

“What do you Lind- _say_ to getting drinks with me, is not a good line. I might not have a soulmate any more when it actually leaves the person’s mouth.”

“Whatever you Lind- _say_ ,” Michael said with a smirk, narrowly avoiding the fist Lindsay sent toward his arm as he stood up. “I’m getting out of here then, hope you only have to kill one person tonight.”

“It’s a two man hit,” Lindsay called as Michael climbed down the fire escape.

He was too far to call out again so he just raised up his hand so that it could be seen above the lip of the building and flipped her off. He slipped the bag with his money, leather jacket, and the mask he’d been wearing during the robbery onto his back and stood on the corner in front of the building he’d just been sitting on. He shivered when he hit the ground it was right at the point of being too cold for short sleeves, knowing that he couldn’t wear his jacket he’d just committed a felony in and wishing he had brought another. He started debating whether he should just walk back to his shitty apartment or call a cab when a dark car, with windows tinted so heavily they couldn’t be legal, stopped in front of him. He gripped the shoulder of his bag, shifting it so it was a little higher on his back and a little more hidden from view. The passenger side window of the car rolled down and a man with a black mustache, that could have been stolen from the pringle guy, and an arm covered in tattoos gave Michael a lazy smile. “Hey kid, how much to hire you?”

Michael startled, his hand going unconsciously to the orange words that wrapped around his wrist. The odds of the words the man had just shouted at him and the words on one of his soulmate tattoos being the same had to be pretty good, right? Michael’s response came on autopilot, he glared at the man and answered his question with, “I’m not a hooker.”

The man in the car laughed, and the sound made Michael feel happy for some reason he didn’t want to examine. Michael started walking away, knowing better than to lead a stranger to his apartment, especially after a robbery, but not wanting to stay there much longer if the guy thought he was a prostitute. The car slowly rolled forward, following Michael as he walked. “I know who you are, Michael ‘Mogar’ Jones. I also know that heist you just pulled was lacking your usual _explosive_ charm.” The man smiled and Michael couldn’t decide if it made him feel better or more unnerved, “Don’t freak out. We want you for a job, nothing big, just need an explosive distraction.”

“No thanks, not supposed to talk to strangers,” Michael said still walking down the street, trying to decide if it would be a good or bad idea to hide in the bar that was right on the corner.

“You know who I am, Michael. Everyone in this damn city knows who I am.”

Michael stopped and so did whoever was driving the car alongside him. He turned and actually looked at the guy, and holy shit yeah he did know him. Michael had only seen him once before, some shitty news bulletin that had gone viral after a bank heist, the video had been grainy but it was all anyone could talk about. They had footage of the Kingpin. The way the city freaked out it was like they had evidence of Bigfoot or some shit. He was just a dude, a dude who was one of the most renowned crime bosses in the city, but fairly normal looking from what you could actually see in the video: black hair, blue eyes, two sleeves of tattoos, and a thick black beard, so normal but not especially difficult to identify. He looked a lot younger now, without the beard, and he'd traded out the shirt and jeans it had looked like he was wearing in the video for a tuxedo, minus the jacket, that actually showed off just how much money and power he had. So of course the only thing Michael could manage to say was, “You’re kidding me, Geoff the fucking kingpin Ramsey. What the fuck do you want me for?”

Geoff apparently didn’t take offence to Michael’s language, he thought it was funny if his laughter was any indication. “Cause you’re the best at what you do, and I don’t hire anyone but the best.” Michael nodded, any one of his like two friends would be very quick to say that Michael was an idiot, but he wasn’t stupid enough to deny a compliment from one of the deadliest men in the city. Geoff smiled, it wasn’t even a real smile Geoff was smirking at Michael, the right side of his mouth twitching upward. “Think about it, I don’t need you answering on an adrenaline high. If you decide you want in, come to this address at noon tomorrow. We’ll fill you in and talk about money,” Geoff handed him a business card with a wink that made Michael think about all of the innuendo that could be found in that last sentence. Once the card was in Michael’s hand, the car pulled away leaving him standing stunned in the street.

Michael stayed there in the street for a full minute as he tried to process what had happened. When it finally registered that, yes, Geoff Ramsey, the motherfucking kingpin of the widest reaching and most powerful crime syndicates in the city (fuck probably the whole state if you didn’t count Burnie), wanted to hire him. Geoff Ramsey wanted him to blow shit up. He pulled out his phone and called Lindsay on instinct. Her phone rang and rang before finally going to voicemail. “Lindsay fucking Tuggey, if you are making out with your new murder girlfriend instead of answering your phone, I swear to God. I just got a job offer from Geoff ‘Kingpin’ Ramsey, and also maybe propositioned and he might be one of my soulmates. But I can’t tell you about it because you didn’t pick up your phone and you won’t check your voicemail because it isn’t fucking 1980. So I hope you have a lot of fun doing your weird flirty thing with your new psycho killer fuck friend.”

She called him back a few hours later, pissed as hell, turns out Lindsay was one of those weird people who actually checks their messages and she wasn’t happy with the one he’d left her. She did spend a few hours talking to him about the job offer, which was all he cared about to be honest, that and freaking out about the fact that Geoff Ramsey could be one of his soulmates. “So what’d he say?”

“You know exactly what he said Linds, it is literally written on my flesh.”

“That’s dark,” she said and yeah maybe they’d also decided that the best way to handle things was to get a little drunk, by themselves, separately, in their own apartments.

“Whatever. He’s like super hot Linds, but he’d be like my boss. Is that weird, is that like a weird thing?”

“I heard he fucks all his employees before he hires them,” she said sagely.

“That’s a load of shit and you know it,” Michael said, temper flaring, “they also say he massacred an entire precinct of cops because he’d just watched _Silence of the Lambs_.”

“Whoa jealous much,” Lindsay said and damn if Michael couldn’t hear her smirk.

“Why would I be jealous of my own soulmate?”

“You’re jealous of all the hangers on, the murder groupies are the worst kind of groupies.”

“There are no murder groupies,” Michael said, well maybe shouted, “and anyway you would know. What about you and Yang? Worried about her murder groupies, or whatever the fuck.”

“I have my own groupies to worry about, you know they leave me shit at crime scenes, it’s fucking nuts. But, I haven’t had to buy ammo in like a year, plus there are always flowers for me. It’s great.”

“I don’t think the flowers are for you, Linds. I think those are just flowers for the people you killed.”

“Nah, they’ve got my name on ‘em.”

“You’re avoiding my question, you and your new fwm.”

“Eff, double u, emm?”

“Friend with murder, I don’t know. I’m fucking smashed.”

“Jesus, do you even listen. I left the note tonight I didn’t do anything with her tonight. I’m hoping we won’t do anything ever.”

“You don’t know dude, she could be really hot. Geoff’s really hot, do you think the other four will be really hot?”

“Wow, when the fuck did we make this all about you?” Lindsay asked and Michael felt bad, kinda.

“Sorry, where’d you say you wanted to meet her? And wait, how’re you even gonna know if she got this thing anyway?”

“Oh,” Lindsay said, and the phone went silent for a while, “you know I guess I don’t, unless she shows up. I told her to meet me at that hipster coffee place, cause it’s in public and I’m not an idiot.”

“Hey, I’m just worried about you. The only person who should get to kill you is me, and I wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeah, cause I’m your only friend.”

“Oh shut the fuck up,” Michael tried to make it sound like he was mad, but he knew Lindsay would be able to hear his smile.

“Fine, the only friend you aren’t hoping to fuck later. Cause we both know you’ve got the hots for Ray.”

“I’m hanging up now. If Yang kills you tomorrow I’m taking all your shit.”

“Like hell, I left it all to my cat.”

“I’ll give your cat to Yang and then we’ll split your stuff.”

“You asshole,” Lindsay yelled but Michael could hear her laughter as he hung up.

Michael was not loitering awkwardly outside of Geoff's fucking penthouse, he was just trying to decide if he should knock or just walk in or what. Which meant he spent more time than he would like to admit walking up to the door almost knocking and then walking away and back to the elevator. He was about to push the down button when the orange writing on his arm caught his eye, it wasn’t like he didn’t see it and notice it every day of his life since he’d turned sixteen, but it was different than the others. The other four were at least mildly legible, all to varying degrees at least. The blue one on his side being the most legible, it was an almost elegant script, and the other three were at least easily read, neat and printed so that he could actually read what they said. The orange one, which as far as he could tell at this point was probably Geoff’s, was a scribbled mess. It had taken Michael months before he was fully confident that he knew what was written around his arm and even then there were still days where he wasn’t sure if about certain letters, that could be a k or it could be an l and a c that were too close together. So Michael decided that it was time to man up and he turned around and walked up to the door and banged on it so he wouldn’t be able to wuss out again. He expected someone to tell him to just come in, or Geoff to open the door, so he was caught off guard when a huge dude with a big ginger beard. Michael didn't have the best brain to mouth filter on a good day, so he shouldn't really be faulted for the first thing he said to the guy, "Holy shit, you're huge."

The guy's cheeks pinked and Michael felt a little bad, ‘cause that sounded a lot worse than it did in the half second it spent in his head. But the guy was big, he had to be the muscle like Geoff’s bodyguard or something because the last thing Michael would want to do is start shit if he saw this guy standing behind Geoff. Geoff stopped any further conversation, “Finally Jack and I were taking bets on how many times you’d pace back and forth down the hallway before you actually knocked. Debating whether the offer was real or not?”

“We don’t just bring in strays off the street,” Jack said, answering the question Geoff half posed.

Michael couldn’t control the arm that he flung behind himself, the tips of his fingers grazing where he knew the yellow writing that said those same words ended. “Yeah, maybe a little. Um, so you need me to make something explode. That’s something I can do.” Michael felt weirdly subdued, he was in a room with two really big names, he hadn’t recognized the man who’d answered the door for him but now that he’d heard Geoff call him Jack, Michael realized who it was.

He probably should have guessed from the start, it’s not like it wasn’t super fucking obvious now that he thought about it. Jack ‘the beard’ Pattillo, Geoff Ramsey’s right hand man. “I might have underrepresented just what we wanted you to do,” Geoff said with a slightly sheepish smile. “This is a trial run, Jack and I want to see how you work within the crew and maybe bring you in full time.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” Michael said, not really believing what he was hearing it seemed a little too good to be true to get hired full time by the biggest crime boss in the city. It would make a lot more sense that he was being pranked by Geoff, who hadn’t ever worked with Michael before. Not that Michael wasn’t awesome to work with, he’s worked team jobs before and with people who aren’t Lindsay. He had references from people like Burnie, and Burnie was like the don of the whole state, he had a hand in everything illegal that happened anywhere but he kept himself squeaky clean and his word was gold. So it’s not like Michael wouldn’t be an excellent hire, he’d be a great hire, and he definitely wasn’t going to turn his nose up at getting hired by Geoff Ramsey to be part of the fucking Fake AH Crew. It’s just, it wasn’t how things were done in Los Santos, or anywhere really, you ran several heists with a crew before they started to think about bringing you into their crew and Geoff was throwing it out like it was no big deal. Michael felt like he had the right to be a little suspicious.

“Well, let’s just see how this heist goes before I start making promises.” Geoff said, “I have a feeling that you’ll be a very good fit though.” He winked and Michael felt his face get very warm.

Jack smacked Geoff’s arm and sent him a look that felt loaded. Michael shifted in his seat and started to think about the ink that was on his arm and back, he wondered what the protocol was for bringing something like that up, especially when they were sitting around a table talking about employing him. It wasn’t like they weren’t aware, I mean hell it was pretty damn obvious, it was hardly like the first things he said to them were things that come up in conversation a lot. So they had to know that Michael was one of their soulmates, right? "Yeah so what's this heist? What am I doing?"

It was pretty small scale shit, a convenience store robbery like what Michael had hit with Lindsay. He knew that it was a small hit so they could focus on how Michael worked with the team and so they could do the hit quickly without much planning. But it was almost boring, at least until they got back to the penthouse and Geoff planted a kiss on his mouth as Michael threw his bag to the floor both of them giggling from the adrenaline that you could always feel running through you after a job done right. "You did good, buddy." He said as he let go of Michael's face, "We definitely want you in, if you're interested?"

Michael nodded furiously, "Fuck yeah, absolutely! Especially if that’s how all the heists end.”

Jack hit Geoff with the back of this hand, it was a gentle hit but the meaning was carried through, “It is, but that was inappropriate. You didn’t even ask if it was okay.”

“He was totally fine with it,” Geoff said, and it was a completely accurate statement and Geoff could feel more than welcome to do it again if he wanted to. Jack gave him a pointed look, “Fine, sorry Michael next time I won’t give you exactly what you want.”

“Geoff,” Jack said with a warning tone.

“No, it’s fine,” Michael rushed to assure, “more than fine, totally cool.” He felt like he was tripping over his words in his rush to get them all out.

“See Jack, it’s fine.”

“Just make the offer, Geoff.” Jack said in a weary voice clearly used to and over Geoff’s shit. “See if he’s still so eager.”

“Offer?” Michael asked warily, he should have known that being offered a spot on the crew after just one job was a little too good to be true.

“Chill, Jack is making it sound like we want you to drink baby blood or some shit. You just have to move into the penthouse if you join the crew. We don’t want to have to go searching for you when we need you for a job. It’s not a big deal, and if you want to keep the apartment you’ve got now you can. You just have to spend enough time here where if you were related to me I’d want to kill you.”

“Right, okay,” Michael said not sure if he sounded any more on board with what they were proposing.

Geoff seemed to notice, “Just think it over. If you want in come back, bring a bag and stay awhile. If not, then whatever, we’ll still probably bring you in for other jobs you’re competent and we can always use competent people. Here’s the grab from the heist, don’t blow it on something from stupid.”

“You spent all the money from our last heist on booze,” Jack said.

“It was a snatch and grab, it’s not like we robbed the bank and I spent all of that on really good, really expensive liquor.”

“Okay, I’m going to…” Michael said walking slowly to the door.

“Oh right, yeah go think it over. If we don’t hear from you in a week we’ll assume you don’t want it or got killed or some shit.” Michael nodded slowly, walking out as Geoff asked Jack, “Where’d all that liquor go anyway, babe?”

“You drank it all, dumbass.”

Michael wasn’t sure what was said after that. He was down the hallway and in the elevator in record time, hopping on his bike and speeding back to his apartment. He burst through the front door of his apartment and jumped about a foot in the air when he saw Lindsay sitting on his couch. “Shit on my dick! Lindsay, what the fuck are you doing in my apartment?”

“Hiding, and kicking ass at Call of Duty, but mostly hiding.”

“What? Why are you hiding and why are you doing it in my apartment?” Michael asked looking around nervously, like the cops could bust in any second.

“Because I can’t hide in any of my safe houses cause she’ll find me there. Your apartment seemed the safest.”

“The safest? What the fuck? Lindsay, who are you hiding from?”

“Barbara.”

“What? Jesus, Linds you had me freaked the hell out.” Michael fell onto the sofa beside her much more relaxed than when he had first walked into his apartment, but now that he wasn’t worried about the safety of his and Lindsay’s lives anymore. “So who’s Barbara and why are we hiding from her?”

“You don’t have to do shit.”

“Well the hiding is happening in my apartment, so I think I’ve got to do at least a little hiding, at least until this isn’t my apartment anymore.”

“That sounded ominous. There’s no way this shit hole is evicting you, you’ve got some guy selling meth next door at least you’re the good kind of criminal. So what’s got you all in a tiff, is this place built on an ancient Indian burial ground? Are we sitting on cursed land?”

“What? No, shut up. Geoff offered me a spot in the Fake AH Crew.”

“That’s great, but I thought you knew that already. I thought you went into this heist knowing that. What’s got you all fucked up about it now?”

“Geoff told me I have to move in with them.”

“Ah commitment issues, now it all makes sense.” Lindsay said nodding, the news so unsurprising that it didn’t even fuck up her kill streak.

“What? No, fuck off. I’m just, it’s weird right? Just like telling me I’m going to move in?”

“Well, I mean did he tell you that you were going to? Cause that doesn’t seem right, it’d totally make sense if he wants to keep you close if you’re going to be part of the crew. But ordering you to move in sounds hella creepy, and not really Geoff’s style.”

“Well he suggested it strongly, and what the hell would you know about Geoff’s style?”

“I’ve worked with him before, duh. Didn’t you say this guy was your soulmate, like literally your soulmate? What’s the big deal?”

“What? Why did you work with Geoff before I did, and why did you fail to mention it earlier?”

“I’ve worked with a lot of people, Jones, and I didn’t mention it because I don’t talk about the people I work with. It’s sorta a big deal in the business, not to go blabbing about every high powered criminal who hires you.”

“But what did he hire you for? You’re a fucking assassin, not exactly a team sport.”

“I have a very special set of skills,” she said in a very bad Liam Neeson voice, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t do plenty of shit, I played sniper for you like two days ago. He needed some help and Geoff only hires the best or at least very big names, I happened to be available. You never really answered though, thought he was one of your five, what’s the big deal if you move in? The place is huge, even if you don’t like him you could just pick a room and hide.”

“He is; and that’s like the opposite of a problem because he’s like super hot and awesome and shit, but you know Jack?”

“Yeah, Geoff’s right hand man, looks like he could crush your skull in the palm of his hand, is apparently really a huge teddy bear. What about him?”

“He’s one of them too.”

“Oh, that’s good though. Two birds, one stone and all that shit.”

“Yeah but, aren’t there rules about this. You don’t fuck where you work, or whatever.”

“That isn’t really an option in our line of work, you know that.”

“What? Of course it is, people find their soulmates outside of the criminal life all the time.”

“Really?” Lindsay asked skeptically actually leaving her game and turning to look at him, “name one, name a single one and I’ll let you puss out of joining Geoff’s crew. Cause that is the only reason you’ve even brought this up, you’re scared.”

“I’m not fucking scared. It’s a legit concern. But what about Blake, isn’t her soulmate a civilian or whatever.”

“Blake Belladonna? Yeah that’s Arryn and she’s with Miles, who’s one of Burnie’s dirty cops which totally counts as crime before you start arguing. Strike one, wanna try again?”

“Well what about you? Barbara’s the coffee shop chick, right? She’s normal and totally your soulmate, that’s why we’re hiding?”

“Well you’re half right.”

“Ha, in your face told you it was possible.” Michael said, jumping up from the couch, “Wait, which half was right?”

“Get me a beer first, while you’re up, and I’ll tell you.”

“Are you ordering me around, in _my_ apartment, that you broke into?”

“Do you want to know what you got right or not?”

Michael sighed but he grabbed them both a beer from his fridge, “Here, dickhead, now what did I get right?”

“So maybe half was a little off. More like two-thirds or like all of it if we include your rambling from the other day.”

“What are you talking about? So Barbara is your soulmate, right?”

“Yes.”

“And she’s the girl you refuse to talk to from the coffee shop?”

“Right again.”

“So she’s fucking normal and whether you decide to date her doesn’t matter, because I was right it does happen, you can have a soulmate who isn’t a criminal.”

“Wrong.”

“What? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I said you’re wrong.”

“Okay if she like jaywalked or some shit to get to the coffee shop it doesn’t fucking count. We’re talking like big time crime and you know it.”

“Yep, still wrong though. Come on Jones, you’re better than this. Think real hard about it.”

“What? It’s not like she was Yang or something, was she?” Lindsay stayed quiet, sipping the beer in her hand. “Holy shit! It is, it’s Yang! Yang is the coffee girl and your soulmate!” Michael shouted.

Lindsay sighed, “Yeah. So you were wrong about dating on the outside. Unless you want to try again?”

“Isn’t there a rumor that the Vagabond’s soulmate is a normal person?”

“Who? Skeletor, the masked merc, that guy?” Lindsay asked like he was stupid.

“Yeah, that’s him.”

“Yeah, there’s also a rumor that he’s got a cow in a basement of some apartment on the sketchy side of town. I don’t think either of them are true, so if you’re going to try to prove a point, how about you go off of something a little more solid than one of the thousands of rumors that go around about him.”

“Haven’t you worked with him before?”

“I mean kinda, as much as anyone works with him.”

“What about Burnie?”

“First wife wasn’t his soulmate, she doesn’t count. Ashley does crime reporting now, but she was the biggest female assassin there was before she retired. Jinx was the biggest name out there before RWBY.”

“Did you just call yourself the biggest name in the assassin game? Wow, cocky.”

“No asshole, RWBY it stands for Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang, who are the four biggest names in the state. You want to throw any more names out or will you admit defeat.”

"Alright fine, you win. If Yang is your soulmate, why would hiding in my apartment do anything? You just said she's one of the biggest names in the state, this is like at least the third or fourth place I'd look for you."

"She's not looking because I'm going out with her later, or I said I was anyway. I'm hiding from the reality of the date, if I go back to my place then I'd have to start getting ready and that's making all of this real."

“So what’s the big deal with that?”

“What’s the big deal with moving in with Geoff then? It’s like the same thing.”

“It is not.”

“Well, you don’t want to do it because it would make things feel too real. You should really just get over that though, this is the best offer you’re ever gonna get and two of your five soulmates are in the crew and the house you’ll be moving into.”

“Fine, whatever you’re right, as usual.”

“Damn right I am.”

Michael moved in, because Lindsay was right he was just being weird about it. He showed up at the penthouse with a bag in hand two days after Geoff made the offer, he had Lindsay help him pack so he wouldn’t freak out any more than he already was and back out. Geoff gave him pick of the house, said he was welcome to take any of the rooms in the house to use. Michael got the feeling that Geoff wanted to ease him into the idea of an actual relationship after he eased him into the idea of being part of their crew. Michael noticed there wasn’t a room for Jack, which Michael assumed meant he was staying in the master with Geoff. There had been a grand tour before Michael had gone to pick a room, it was a short tour, “Living room, with big TV and several gaming systems all purchased legally because it’s a real bitch to deal with Xbox live with an illegally gotten system.” Michael wasn’t sure if Geoff was looking for a response to that so he just nodded, Geoff kept walking so Michael figured that was the right response. “Kitchen, stay out of there. I do the cooking and if you fuck up my kitchen, they won’t find your body. The liquor cabinet is right next to the fridge, you can get into that but don’t finish off my good shit without asking.”

“How will I know what the good shit is?” Michael asked with small laugh.

“Trick question, it’s all good stuff. Except all Jack’s shitty beer in the fridge, feel free to drink that whenever you want. If you decide to try the moonshine be careful, that shit is strong.” Michael nodded and the tour continued. “My bedroom is on the right, feel free to stop by whenever you want for whatever you want. I’m great at cuddling.”

“How did you make cuddling sound dirty?”

Geoff laughed, “I’m just gifted like that, buddy. Bathroom is on the left.”

“No color commentary?”

“It’s the fucking shitter, no there’s no color commentary. Don’t use all the hot water when you shower or we might have a problem.”

“Good to know.”

“Alright then, like every room down this hallway is empty and you’re free to take your pick. Make it your own, or don’t, it’s yours to do whatever with. They’re all pretty much identical so it doesn’t really matter which one you take.” Michael went to the first door on the right, since it didn’t really matter and that one was the closest. “Yeah, except that one.” Geoff said blocking his way in.

“What I thought I was free to take my pick?”

“And you totally are, this one is just not one of the ones you’re free to pick from.”

“Fine,” Michael said moving away from the door and opening the one across the hall, tossing his bag on the bed.

“Great!” Geoff said cheerfully, “I’ll leave you to get settled, dinner’s at sixish if you want food.” Geoff left with that and Michael looked around the room he’d been given. It was small but from where he’d walked past Geoff’s room it seemed much larger and since Michael imagined the larger goal was to get Michael moved into Geoff’s room, and if it wasn’t Geoff’s goal it was definitely Michael’s or it would be eventually. So Michael put the clothes he brought with him in the closet and tossed his bag under the bed. He flopped down on the bed and wondered if it should feel weird, moving into a new place so suddenly, but this all felt pretty normal. He moved around a lot, both as a kid and in the job, which meant he spent a lot of time in fleabag motels and cheap apartments. They all looked pretty much the same: a single bed that took up most of the space, a bedside table with a lamp that never worked, and if you were willing to pay extra you could get a dresser to put your things in. By comparison, the room Michael was in now was extravagant, with a queen bed and actual floor space. Michael had kept his apartment so he’d have somewhere to go to get away if he had to, but now he wasn’t sure if he would keep it. It was a studio and his bed was pulled out of the couch, he’d been living in squalor and well below his means, and Geoff was showing him the error of his ways.

Michael must have fallen asleep because he woken up by a soft knock on his door, “Come in,” he croaked, voice hoarse from just waking up.

Jack poked his head in, “Hey bud, Geoff just finished dinner if you want to join us?”

Michael sat up, rubbing at his eyes trying to wake up a little. As he did, he smelled the dinner Geoff was making which did a much better job of waking him. “Oh fuck yeah, that smells amazing.” He bounced off the bed and followed Jack into the kitchen. He sat down at the bar with the other man and Geoff put a plate in front of each of them, Geoff leaned across the counter and ate and talked with them. It was nice, homey even, and Michael felt at ease. He’d been a little weary about taking Geoff up on his offer Lindsay had called him an idiot all night and now he was thinking she was right, agreeing to join the Fake AH Crew was easily probably the smartest decision he'd ever made. 

Three months later and Michael was wondering why there was ever a doubt in his mind that moving in with Geoff and Jack was a good idea. He hardly used the room he'd picked out for himself anymore, hadn't really used it since his second or third week living there. He'd been sharing the absolutely huge bed, it had to be special order or some shit because it was ridiculous, that was in the master bedroom with Jack and Geoff. 

It had all finally fallen together because of a heist gone almost wrong. They were a person short for what the team should have been, which Jack reminded them of several times both before and after, and Geoff didn’t want to hire outside of the three of them for a job that wasn’t going to bring in much money. Michael remembered later that he could have called in that favor Lindsay owed him, but he remembered that much too late for it to be of any use to him. They were just hitting up a couple convenience stores, the three of them hitting a different branch and then meeting up after they ditched the cops. Michael volunteered to take the one closest to the police station, really for no other reason than he got to make a few cracks about how Geoff and Jack were too old to do it. The jokes were a cheap shot, and Geoff called him a little shit after he made them, but they let Michael take the more dangerous hit without much argument. 

The cops were a little faster to respond then they had anticipated, meaning Michael saw the flashing lights as he was yelling at the cashier to shove the money in the bag faster. He grabbed the bag with the money, shoved it in the side bag of the bike, and jumped on it tearing out of the parking lot as fast as he could. He drove one handed and dug around in the bag he had on his back the best he could to try and find some sort of explosive. His hand wrapped around a grenade, one of the new ones he was trying out, and he hadn’t found the time to test the blast radius on it yet. He tossed it behind himself anyway, needing to get out of there and any explosion was better than none at this point. The explosion was much bigger than he’d expected it to be, it had landed close enough to the gas station that it caught that in the explosion, the gas adding fuel to the very literal fire. Michael had managed to clear out all of the cops that had been on his tail, but he had also blown himself off of his bike. He went flying and landed in a very rough pile about fifteen feet away from his vehicle. Geoff and Jack were frantic in his ear, Michael had forgotten about the earpiece but he was impressed that it was still working after the explosion what with the way his ears were ringing. He’d brushed off their concerns, grabbing the money from his broken and flaming bike and stealing a car that had been parked on the street, driving to the agreed meeting spot.

When he got there Geoff and Jack were both already waiting, and they had looked a little frantic. He got out of the car, limping slightly as he walked over to them. Their frantic looks did not disappear like he thought they would when they saw him. “Jesus, Michael,” Geoff said, grabbing him and pulling him into a crushing hug when Michael came within reach, “don’t do that again, asshole. We thought you were dead for sure.”

“Geoff, if you don’t let go of me I might be.” Michael wheezed, starting to think they might need to get his ribs checked out.

“Sorry buddy,” Geoff said, releasing him from his crushing hold.

They drove back to the penthouse in Geoff’s minivan, Michael had made fun of it when he’d first seen it but even with cops across the state looking for Geoff Ramsey and his crew nobody thought to look for him in a soccer mom van. Even on the short drive through the city, neither Jack nor Geoff could keep their hands off of him. Not like in a sexy way, but in a ‘wow you almost died and we wouldn’t have seen you again and we would have felt responsible because we let you fight the police by yourself’ sort of way. He didn’t spend a moment alone for the rest of the day. When he was on the couch using the Xbox Jack was pressed against his side reading, when he was watching TV Geoff pulled him into his lap to watch with him, and when he was going to bed Geoff and Jack both grabbed a hand and pulled him into their room. He hadn’t really gone back to his own room since.

Michael had gotten up late, it was a weekend and Jack and Geoff had something authoritative they had to take care of, that’s what they said anyway when they left him lying in bed so fucking early this morning. Michael figured the two of them would be back in an hour or two, they usually weren’t gone that long when they were putting people in their place, but he was free to wander around the house after getting up way later than usual. He was messing around in the kitchen trying to make breakfast, but still being careful not to mess anything up because the kitchen was one thing Geoff was very serious about. He had managed to find cereal and milk and was carefully carrying the bowl out into the living room so he could eat and watch TV. He barely managed to keep his hold on the bowl as he turned away from the counter and found himself staring at someone he’d never seen before, a guy who looked about his age with sandy hair and a very prominent nose. Michael opened his mouth to shout when the other guy spoke, “You’re pretty cute, but why are you in my house?”

Michael stared at the man, still holding onto his food and thinking now about the green writing on his bicep and the fact that he was in a white tank and sweats. He was distracted and couldn’t keep himself from blurting, “I’ve lived here for months and I’ve _never_ seen you before.”

This guy made a noise that made Michael think of a bird that was being strangled. “Well that’s not nice, who the hell are you?”

“I’m Michael, not that it’s any of your fucking business. Who the hell are you and why the hell are you in my house?”

The man had an indignant look on his face but he didn’t manage to answer before Geoff walked in yelling, “Michael, who are you yelling at? Did some kid kill you in Halo?”

The man across from him squawked, “Geoff!”

“Did I just hear some smarmy British prick in my kitchen?” Geoff asked.

The guy took off out of the kitchen and Michael set his food down on the counter, not feeling very hungry anymore, and followed him out of the kitchen. Michael was impressed that Geoff managed to catch the guy as he leapt into Geoff’s arms. Jack walked past the two of them rolling his eyes at the two of them, he walked up to Michael and pressed a quick peck to Michael’s lips in greeting and stood beside him to watch the Geoff and the British guy who’d broken into their house. Michael nudged him, “Jack, who is that guy?”

“Oh shit, I forgot you hadn’t met Gavin yet. Maybe not the best way to meet him, but I guess we know who you were yelling at when we walked in. Geoff, put Gavin down so Michael can actually meet him.”

“Oh shit! Jesus, Gav have you been gone that long? Michael’s been here forever.”

“Yeah you minge, told you I’d be bloody overseas for four months while Dan was on leave. How long’d you wait to replace me with this one?”

“This one has a name,” Michael said, “and minge isn’t a fucking word.”

“Oh Michael, I know your name,” the guy, Gavin, said leering at him. “And it is too a real word.”

“Okay first of all it Michael, not Micool,” Michael said in an awful impersonation of Gavin’s British accent, “and it is not a real word, learn English.”

“I’m from England, we bloody invented English.” Michael caught Jack and Geoff sharing a look, and he almost wanted to call it fond. “Michael, Michael look at me, you mong.”

“That’s another fucking made up word! Are you fucking stupid?”

“That’s not very nice, lovely Micoo.”

Michael could tell that Gavin was being a prick just to get a reaction out of him, he hadn’t butchered Michael’s name that badly the entire time they’d been speaking. Just because Michael was aware of what he was doing doesn’t mean he wasn’t going to get a reaction though. “It’s Michael, dumbass,” he really tried to sound angry, but Michael was pretty sure that he didn’t at least not if the looks that Geoff and Jack were sharing were anything to go by.

“Gavin’s our tech guy,” Geoff said, apparently deciding that now was the time to step in and try to get the two of them to get along. “He sounds like an idiot ninety percent of the time but he really knows his tech.”

“Well that’s rude you mong. Who’s this and how long did you wait before you started to pretty woman some hooker? He didn’t take my room did he?”

Michael sputtered, not quite believing that with what his first words to Geoff were that this guy would call him a hooker too. Geoff was laughing and Jack was trying to hold back his own, knowing that he didn’t want to upset Michael by laughing too. Geoff didn’t have the same problem and was now laughing too hard to actually speak. “I’m not a fucking hooker,” Michael said indignantly.

“And your room is the same way you left it, barely used.” Jack said.

Michael looked at Geoff who was still laughing slightly, “Geoff, it wasn’t that fucking funny.”

“No, no you’re right. Sorry buddy,” Geoff walked over and pressed an apologetic kiss to Michael’s forehead.

“Geoff,” Gavin whined, “you never gave me a proper hello. You haven’t seen me in ages.”

“Yeah and what’d you do when you first got home, you started acting like an asshole. You know who Michael is dickhead and he isn’t a hooker, he made that much very clear when we first tried to hire him.” 

“In Michael’s defense, we maybe weren’t as clear as we could have been when asking.” Jack said.

“Well yeah, maybe. Gavin, Michael is the explosives guy we were talking about hiring before you left.”

“ _This_ is bloody Mogar? But he’s so cute?” Gavin said.

“Call me cute again and I swear to God,” Michael said.

“But you’re so little! And there are people that say you blew up a senator by getting him to swallow remote charges.”

“They do? That’s the dumbest fucking shit I’ve ever heard. How did I even get him to do that?”

“Who knows, people make up all sorts of stupid shit about people they find intimidating.” Geoff said, “My favorite is the one where Gavin was competent enough to take down the security at Buckingham Palace and wandered around for a couple hours.”

Gavin let out an indignant bird sound, “Hey, I could totally hack that. It’s kids’ stuff, but why’d you want to?”

“Why the fuck would I want to blow up a senator?” Michael asked.

“People take hits out on politicians all the time,” Gavin said to Michael like he was stupid.

“I fucking know people take hits out on politicians! I’m not a hit man, I make shit go boom. You want someone dead you talk to Lindsay.” Michael said.

“What you don’t kill people?” Gavin asked leaning into Michael’s space.

“Well yeah, but we’ve all killed people. But I’m not getting hired for that shit.”

“Oh Michael,” Gavin purred, “what _are_ you getting hired for?”

“Cut the shit, Gav,” Geoff said smacking him on the arm, “you make another hooker joke and I’ll let Michael kick your ass.”

“Sorry Geoff,” Gavin said, not looking sorry, “Just been a while since I’ve seen you guys and I come home and there’s someone new. Can’t blame me for wanting to have a little fun.”

“No, but I can blame you for being an asshole. It’s something you and Michael have in common, that and you’re both shit at video games.”

Gavin and Michael both let out indignant protests. “Like you’re any better, dickhead.”

“Easy there, Rage Quit. You know I’m just kidding buddy.”

"You know I prefer the hooker jokes to the rage quit cracks."

“Yeah well you wouldn’t have to deal with the rage quit jokes if you hadn’t thrown that controller at the wall when Jack beat you at Trials.”

“You throw shit all the time when you lose!” Michael cried.

“Yeah but when I throw shit we don’t have to call in a professional to fix the hole in the wall.”

“We had a glory hole and you patched it up? Geoff, how could you!” Gavin whined. Michael laughed and started to think that maybe Gavin wasn’t a complete asshole, maybe they could end up getting along.

“Gav, you have a weird dick but until it’s on your forehead this glory hole wouldn’t have done you any good.”

“I don’t have a weird dick!” Gavin screeched.

Michael looked between the two of them, unsure of what to say, “What’s wrong with your dick?” was what actually came out, Michael’s brain to mouth filter deciding for him what would be the best thing to say in the situation.

“There’s nothing bloody wrong with it, just cause I’m not from here.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Think about it for a second,” Geoff said.

“What so he’s?”

“Yes, and it’s not that bloody weird. Don’t know why you Americans have such a problem with it.”

“Don’t get pouty Gavvy, you just got here. Why don’t you and Michael go hook up the Xbox? You lads can get to know each other while Jack and I discuss business.”

“We can’t discuss business with you? What are we twelve?” Michael asked.

“Michael, buddy. There is literally twelve years between the two of us, you might as well be,” Geoff ruffled Michael’s curls knowing it would piss him off, “seriously though, it’s boring shit. We’ll bring you in when we’re talking about the next heist we have planned.”

“Fine,” Michael grumbled.

“Good, you and Gav play nice. And stay away from _Catherine_ , last time you played that you took out a pedestrian when you through the system out the window.”

“You did what?” Gavin asked.

Michael ignored him, “Hey that dude’s head broke the fall, the Xbox was still mostly usable after that.”

“Mostly usable till you took the baseball bat to it,” Jack chimed from the kitchen.

“You also shot it twice.” Geoff added.

“Okay, maybe overkill but that game was bullshit and you know it.” Michael said.

“Maybe bud, but maybe stick to something less rage inducing. Why don’t you two play Slender, Gav’s never played it.”

“That’s not a co-op game,” Michael pointed out.

“So share a controller, you’re trying to make new friends.”

“God damn it Gavin!” Michael screamed, he was pretty sure the only thing he was feeling was frustration and not amusement at Gavin’s antics.

“It’s scary Micoo,” Gavin whined, trying to hide behind Michael.

“You can’t fucking hide, you’re supposed to be working the fucking flashlight.”

“But Michael, he’s behind us.”

“Yeah well I wouldn’t fucking know that because you dropped the fucking flashlight and we’re looking at the fucking ground.” Gavin shrieked as the screen shook and their character fell to the ground, and blood splatter flashed across the screen, “Great damn it, now we’re fucking dead. Are you happy?” Gavin was sitting behind Michael making little squeaky noises, like a cross between laughter and scared bird sounds. Michael spun around on the ground so that they were facing each other now “What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked unable to deny that he actually sounded fond of this dumbass that he’d met a few hours ago.

“It was scary, Michael,” Gavin said with a smile and a look of innocence so fake it should be illegal.

“You’re full of shit, Gav.”

Gavin shrugged and leaned in closer to Michael, “Need big, strong Mogar to protect me,” Gavin purred.

Michael started to lean in to close the gap when Geoff walked in, “Alright assholes, find something else to do. Your screaming and screeching is giving me a migraine.”

Michael jerked back and Gavin looked a little upset, Michael got up and mumbled something and while he was pretty sure he said he was going back to call Lindsay he wasn’t sure how much of that actually came out of his mouth. He left the room and he was pretty sure he heard Gavin call Geoff a cock block, but he couldn’t be sure that’s what Geoff’s sudden laughter was caused by. 

Michael hadn’t really used his room since he’d started sharing a bed with Jack and Geoff so it had that musty smell that came from a room that hadn’t been used. He flopped down on the bed and pulled out his phone, it was already ringing so when he put it to his ear he was greeted to Lindsay’s pissed off voice, “This better be important, Jones.”

“Am I interrupting something important, Lindsay?” Michael asked in an innocent voice almost as fake as the look Gavin had given him earlier.

“Michael, you’re my best friend but I swear to god if you don’t get to the point I will come to Geoff’s house and kill you. It will be bloody and gruesome and I won’t feel bad about it at all.”

“Jesus, just wanted to talk to my best friend about meeting some British prick who’s also my soulmate, but since you’re so fucking busy.”

Lindsay sighed and Michael heard her mutter something to someone who was off the phone. “Alright Michael, what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know,” Michael admitted. “I walked into my kitchen this morning to get breakfast and ended up talking to this guy I’ve never seen before who wanted to know why I was in his fucking house.”

“Alright, so were you in his house?”

“Fucking apparently, Geoff has some mail order twink that spent the last like four months I’ve been here in England.”

“Well let’s not throw around the word twink like you aren’t one too. But are you talking about Gavin?”

“Yeah, how the hell did you know that?”

“Everyone knows about Plan G.”

“What the fuck? No they don’t.”

Lindsay sighed, “Alright, maybe not everyone. Almost everyone, everyone except you who somehow keeps their head buried so far up their ass that they didn’t know about Gavin Free.”

“Or maybe you just get some kick out of knowing everyone in the business.”

“So Gavin walked in on you and now he’s your soulmate, what’s your problem?”

“You know how you were worried about meeting Barbara or Yang or whoever because it made things feel too real?"

Michael could hear rustling and snickering from the other end of the line that wasn't coming from Lindsay. "That's not the full story and you know it, dickhead."

"Who gives a shit about the whole story, we aren't talking about you right now."

"Yeah, yeah we're talking about you as usual. What's got your fear of commitment acting up?"

"Well the whole thing was kinda sprung on me outta nowhere."

"Right cause you get a lot of advance notice when you meet your soulmate normally."

"Yeah but Geoff and Jack both knew they could have said something, fuck they should have said something."

"What would they have said? Jesus dude, how could they even know for sure that you and Gavin were soulmates too?"

"Because Linds what are the fucking odds that someone with five soulmates had a different soulmate than everyone else."

"I don't know dude, it's not like there's a lot of documentation about polyamory and soulmates."

"Yeah, well it doesn't happen."

"Whatever, so what're you so pissy about? They didn't tell you, big whoop, you would have spent the whole time you were waiting freaking out about meeting him and making your first words good. Geoff and Jack are smart enough to know that it wouldn't have done any good to have you worried about some guy you wouldn't meet for months. It sounds like they didn't even remember Gavin was going to be back today. You aren't even upset about that."

"How the hell do you know what I'm upset about?"

"I'm your best friend, dick face, I know you."

"Fine then," Michael said petulantly, “why am I upset then?”

“If I were guessing, I’d say, okay, you’re probably a little upset with Jack and Geoff for keeping this from you. But I’d also bet that you’re even more upset that you’re really getting along with this guy that you keep calling a prick and a jerk.”

“He’s such an asshole Lindsay, so why is it super endearing?” Michael asked.

“Because the universe works in mysterious ways, they wouldn’t give you a soulmate you can’t stand. So you wanna jump his bones and the accent is annoying, but in a way that makes you smile, chill out. I’m sure they think the same about you and your rage issues.”

“I don’t have rage issues,” Michael said, upset with just how right Lindsay was about everything.

“You went through two controllers when we were playing Mario Party last month, you threw the one at the floor so hard it shattered. I’ve never seen a controller do that.”

“Okay fine, that’s a gross exaggeration of what happened but I see your stupid point.”

“I mean I’m just saying, they’re your soulmate for a reason. I can deal with Barb’s awful puns and what she thinks is the correct way to execute people, so you can deal with the fact that Gavin is kinda dumb sometimes and makes up stupid words.”

“So you have worked with him before,” Michael said.

“I’ve worked with just about everyone in this business, Jones, one day you’ll finally get that. If I haven’t worked with them then I’ve heard of them.”

“Had you heard that I apparently blew up a senator, like inside out or something?” Michael asked, bringing up what Gavin had told him earlier as a way of letting her know that he was done complaining about his love life.

“Yeah, that’s one of the dumb ones though,” Lindsay said, “went around for a while when you first started setting up in Los Santos.”

“What, why? How have I never heard of this before today?”

“I’m sure it went around because people were trying to figure out how you built a name for yourself so quickly, Mogar’s a name that blew up,” Lindsay paused apparently realizing what she had said, “shit pun not intended. Anyway, people are pretty stupid. I’m gonna guess you’d never heard of it before for the same reason you didn’t know about Plan G, because you stay in your little crime bubble and you don’t ever listen to what’s going on in the criminal underworld.”

“Oh, who gives a shit about the goings on in the criminal underworld? It’s all so boring, you’re the only one who cares about all that criminal underworld politics.”

“Which is why it gets so annoying when you bitch about not knowing anything.”

“I know stuff,” Michael said.

“You know nothing, Michael Jones.”

“Don’t make shitty Game of Thrones references at me! Hey, so we’ve all got our nicknames, or whatever the fuck, so what do you think Gavin’s is? Or does he have one and I don’t know it?”

“He’s a tech guy, I don’t think he really has one. It’s not like with us, the papers decide our names for the most part, if he’s doing his job right the only people who know he’s there are the people on his team.”

“You’ve seen him though right?” Michael asked.

“I’ve been introduced to him, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Gavin ‘the nose’ Free.” Lindsay was silent for a second and then exploded in laughter and after another beat Michael joined in too. Michael heard the phone pull away and Lindsay speaking to someone in the room with her, then another laugh joined Lindsay’s, “Who’s there with you?” Michael asked.

“Barb. She says she’s only going to call Gavin ‘the nose’ from now on. Actually she’s calling him right now, so I figure you’ve got about ten seconds to either give him a heads up or slip out of the apartment.”

“Nah, Geoff’ll think it’s funny. I think I’ll be fine.” Michael said.

A second later the laughter on the other end of the phone got louder and Michael heard Gavin whining, “Michael, that’s not nice lovely Michael.” Michael could hear Geoff’s laugh through the door, rasping as he tried to breathe through his laughing.

“How many blowjobs are you gonna give out to win back his love?” Lindsay asked.

“Fuck that,” Michael said, “what makes you think I’m…”

Lindsay cut him off with a series of shushing sounds, “I know you dude, you are like the bottomiest bottom, don’t even try to front with me.”

Michael was about to respond indignantly when Gavin burst through the door and jumped on the bed, missing kneeing Michael in the dick by about half a centimeter. “Fuck me,” Michael shouted in shock.

“Ohh that’s the idea,” Gavin said in a husky voice. Michael let out a soft gasp and Gavin grinned predatorily. He gently tugged Michael’s phone from his hand, “Michael has to go now,” he said hanging up on Lindsay.

“I was talking to someone,” Michael said, “it’s rude to interrupt.”

“What you said was rude too, Michael. You shouldn’t be rude to people you’ve just met, Michael, soulmate or not. I think that you should be punished and Geoff agrees with me.” Michael couldn’t suppress the full body shudder at that, Gavin hummed, “That’s what I thought.” 

Gavin rolled off of the bed and walked toward the door displaying grace that Michael hadn’t seen at all in the few hours that he’d known Gavin, ushering Michael closer with a crooked finger. Gavin turned and left the room, swaying his hips in a way that had to be deliberate. Michael sat on the bed for a second before bolting up and following him, almost tripping over himself in his hurry to get out of the door. He’d known Gavin for less than a day, but it felt normal already to be chasing after him like this. It felt like he’d known Gav for forever, or at the very least as long as he’s known Geoff and Jack. Gavin slipped in with the three of them like he’d never been gone, not that it should be surprising Michael was the new one here not Gav, not really. Three down and two more to go, not that Michael wanted to rush into anything, finding three of his soulmates was spectacular. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but it was hard not to think about what it would be like living with two extra people or being caught by two extra sets of hands as he tripped in his hurry to catch Gavin in the bedroom.

Michael didn’t know how he put up with Gavin, he honestly didn’t. He’d been on the phone with him for ten minutes because the asshole couldn’t wait the ten seconds it would take Michael to get back to the penthouse to tell him something. “No, Gav for the last time I went out to meet with Lindsay.” He sighed, reaching under his glasses to rub at his eyes like it would get rid of the headache that Gavin was causing. 

“You didn’t rob anything with her did you?”

“No dude if I was robbing something or shooting someone you would know.”

“Why’s that?” Gavin asked as if he didn’t already know what Michael would say.

“Cause you’re my boi, dumbass. Now I’m walking in the building now so stop your bitching.”

“Hurry up, boi, Geoff says he’s got a plan.”

“When doesn’t Geoff have a plan?” Michael asked, “I’m in the elevator now, I’m hanging up.”

Gavin squawked, “Wait Michael,” whatever he was going to say was cut off when Michael hung up on him.

“Dumbass,” Michael muttered fondly as he got off of the elevator and walked over to the front door. “I’m back now Gavin, I know those ten seconds I wasn’t talking to you were hard,” he yelled as he walked through the door. Michael was looking for the guy he was shouting at, not really paying attention because why the fuck would he in his own house, when he walked into a wall of man. The guy was huge, bigger than Michael by a few inches and broader by the same, and Michael knew once he ran into him that it wasn’t Geoff or Jack. He took a step back and looked up at the person he ran into. He had a hot body with broad shoulders tapering down into a thin waist, Michael’s eyes wandered slowly up and he jumped even farther back when he saw the grey skull mask where the guy’s face should be light eyes watching him closely through the holes in the mask. “Swiss fucking cheese,” Michael yelped, he’d just run straight into Ryan Haywood, the mad fucking mercenary.

Ryan gave a low chuckle and asked in an amused voice, “Are you offering?”

If Michael weren’t slightly afraid of moving and accidentally offending the renowned psycho-killer standing in front of him, he would have reached for his side where a soft blue script had those same words printed.

“Michael, you’re back,” Gavin cheered as he came into the room and jumped on Michael, “oh you met Ryan already, no need for introductions then. I tried to tell you he was here but you hung up on me.”

“Yeah,” Michael said feeling dazed. “I’m gonna,” he trailed off, pulling away from Gavin slightly to turn himself toward the hallway where his room was.

“Gonna go hide in your room and call Lindsay to try and sort out what’s happening in your head,” Gavin asked, strangely spot on for someone who was usually so dense about this kind of thing.

Michael didn’t really answer, he just finished turning away and went to his room. He heard Gavin say, “Don’t worry about him, takes him a tick to adjust sometimes. Kinda like a cat, doesn't like to be surprised by new people but once he warms up he’ll be all over you.”

While Michael didn’t appreciate being compared to a cat, he had to admit it was probably a little accurate. He couldn’t imagine ever being all over Ryan. While most of the rumors about the things he had done to get his nickname had to be false, he had this presence that screamed ‘I would take some pleasure out of killing you slowly, also it wouldn’t be entirely weird if I kept domestic farm life in an apartment just outside of the city.’ That could just be Michael projecting things onto that creepy unmoving mask though. Gavin was right though, Michael was back in the room that he hardly ever used with his phone ringing as he tried to call Lindsay he’d moved back there on auto pilot because it was where he always went when things got serious. “You were with me ten minutes ago, what the hell could you possibly want?”

“Ryan Haywood.”

“What about him?” Lindsay asked patiently.

“He’s in, I just ran into him.”

“Like on the street, because you could just apologize.” Lindsay said slowly, like Michael was some child she was helping work through an easy problem.

“He’s in the house.”

“Is he the killer in a b-list horror flick?” Lindsay asked laughing.

“This isn’t fucking funny, he’s in the house and I walked in and ran into him and then I talked to him.”

“Sounds like you narrowly escaped a grisly death, so glad you stopped to call me about it.”

“I talked to him, talked to him for the first time, just now.” Michael said slowly.

“Oh yeah, repetition that’ll make things more clear. Unless, did he kidnap you, is that what happened are you trying to speak to me through code. One cough for yes, two for no.”

“No I’m not talking in code, dumbass.”

“Yeah I know, I’m fucking with you, Jesus lighten up. So which one was Ryan? You’ve only got the purple one across your chest and the blue one on your side, right?”

“The blue one,” Michael answered quietly.

“Oh wow, Ryan has gorgeous penmanship then.” Lindsay said sounding impressed even if it was mostly faked to piss Michael off even more.

“Why are you so fucking calm about this?”

“Well you’re dealing with it, not me, so someone has to be the calm and levelheaded one. Ryan’s a good dude though, he gets a bad rep cause he likes to play up the crazy.”

“What do you mean play up the crazy?”

“He really enjoys all those rumors that people make up about him, I’ve seen him pretend to hear voices to fuck with new crew members. He told some guy that he was going to call him Edgar because Edgar was the one in the hole, I think that has something to do with that cow thing, it was a little weak but it freaked that guy out either way. I think my favorite one though, I worked a job with him last month and he got set on fire-”

“He got what,” Michael interrupted, strangely worried for this guy that he’d only met for half a second.

“It wasn’t for very long the guy running the job skimped on our explosives guy, like a dumbass. He just lost a shirt, and can I say congratulations he’s pretty fit, I never saw his face but then you might not ever see it either; but anyway one of the guys saw one of his tattoos and Ryan convinced the whole crew that his soulmate was even crazier than him. Started with saying the guy had Tourette’s, which you know doesn’t make him crazy, but Ryan seemed to have fun making up how nuts the guy was. Actually, now that I think about it the guy was probably you, which is hilarious.”

“Thanks Linds, I’m sure it was.”

“What don’t get bitchy with me, it’s not like I knew for sure he was your soulmate like with Gavin. I can’t identify your handwriting on sight, though it is much neater than I would have expected if I’m remembering right.”

“That’s not why I’m upset. I’m not upset at all, it’s just he’s the Mad Mercenary!”

“I think he actually prefers the Vagabond, if you aren’t going to call him Ryan.”

“You aren’t going to be any help, are you?”

“I don’t know what you’d need help with, it sounds like you're just bitching.”

“Why the hell do I talk to you about anything?” Michael groaned.

“I don’t know. I also don’t know why I even answer the phone when you call me, it’s always you freaking out about your newest edition to your harem. You know most people are excited when they meet their soulmate, not filled with panic and the need to call their best friend.”

“Most people don’t have a bunch of known criminals as their soulmates."

"You're a known criminal!"

"Yeah okay whatever." Michael grumbled.

"Great,” Lindsay said cheerfully, “I'm hanging up now. Go do whatever it is that you and your four boyfriends do for fun. Is that enough people where you stop adding the word some to the end and just start calling it an orgy?"

"It's three and then Ryan, I just met him let's not put labels on anything."

"That totally don't answer the question I asked; but y'know what, I actually prefer it unanswered. It’s better in my imagination.”

“Don’t think about my sex life,” Michael groaned, “please, don’t imagine my sex life in any way.”

Lindsay laughed, “I’m hanging up now, you should go actually introduce yourself to Ryan.”

Michael walked out of his room, which he realized he only ever used now when he was calling Lindsay and even then it was only to freak out about soulmates, and he went to the kitchen where everyone had gathered. “There you are bud, I was starting to think we’d have to send in a search party.” Geoff said looking up from the city map they kept spread across the table, they’d all gathered around it and as Geoff spoke all eyes turned toward Michael.

Michael flushed, “Sorry, I just thought I left something at Lindsay’s place I was just calling to check.”

Ryan still had that creepy skull mask on his face but Michael thought he was smiling when he asked, “How is Lindsay? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“She’s good,” Michael said slowly, eyes running nervously over the unmoving grey plastic.

“Ryan, dude, can you take off that creepy as fuck mask?” Geoff asked, “I know you’ve got that whole psycho thing you’ve got going, but seriously.”

“I’d rather not,” he answered looking down at the table.

“Come on Ryan,” Gavin said tilting his head toward the man in question, “where’s the trust? We’re showing our faces.” Gavin had his face set in a pout and Michael felt bad for the guy, he’d never seen anyone refuse Gavin when he asked for something with his pouty face.

Ryan sighed and slumped over slightly but pulled the mask from his head making him one more person who couldn’t refuse Gav’s pouty powers. Ryan set the mask on the counter before running a hand through blonde hair and looking up at the four of them. “What?” he asked, Michael thought he sounded a little more confrontational than he did with the mask still on.

“You’re hot, which is unexpected,” Geoff said.

“Excuse me?” Ryan asked, his voice was deep and low and while Ryan hadn’t said much that Michael had actually heard with some sounds he sounded a little like Jack.

“Well with the mask and everything,” Jack said, “we kinda expected you to have like some Phantom of the Opera style facial deformity or something.”

“We did?” Gavin asked, “Just thought he was crazy.”

“I’m not crazy,” Ryan said in a low voice, the voice shouldn’t have sent shivers down Michael’s spine, “I’m conscientious. Glad not all of you thought I was hideously deformed though.”

“We would have loved you anyway, Quasimodo.” Geoff said.

“Literary reference, good job,” Ryan said rolling his eyes.

“Fuck that, that’s some Disney shit,” Geoff said with a smirk.

“Why’s Ryan here?” Gavin asked his attention span like a toddler so he’d grown bored now that the conversation was drifting.

“Why do you think he’s here, dumbass?” Geoff asked.

“Well what’s the job then?” Gavin asked bouncing up and down like a kid who’d been given too much sugar, “Five man job means big money.”

“Bigger money,” Geoff corrected.

“Well what are we gonna do then?” Michael asked impatiently, “A convenience store barely needs the four of us, sure as hell doesn’t need the four of us and the fucking Vagabond.”

Ryan’s lip twitched into what Michael thought would have been a smile if he’d finished the action. Clearly he preferred Vagabond to mad mercenary or whatever the fuck other nickname the people on the street had come up with for him, just like Lindsay had said. “We’re going to hit somewhere a little outside of town.”

“That told us literally nothing about this job,” Ryan said with a blank look.

“It’s a bloody administrative job,” Gavin complained at the same time as Ryan was speaking, “Why do we even need Ryan?”

“Thanks,” he said in a deadpan voice.

“All we’re going to do is scare some punk who’s trying to move in on our turf, that’s so boring,” Gavin continued to complain, “you don’t even need me and Michael.”

“It’s Felix and he’s partnered with the Corpirate to try to move in on the city over, they’re starting a drug ring to build up their reputation, small shit but you know how it builds.” Geoff said.

“Shit, really?” Michael asked.

“Which is why we’re going to remind them why it’s a bad idea to cross the kingpin.” Geoff said with an evil smile.

“And how are we gonna do that?” Gavin asked.

“We’re going to put on a show, freak ‘em out. Ryan, do you think you’d be up for it? I know we didn’t really tell you what you’d be doing before we brought you in, it’s really just for appearances.”

“Sure, I can act crazy for money,” Ryan said with a smirk, a light in his eyes that had Michael thinking he was already planning his crazy routine.

“What the hell do you even need me and Michael for then,” Gavin whined tired of not knowing what he got to do for the job.

“You’re his pet twinks, a way of displaying his vast wealth and power,” Ryan said under his breath the comment probably wasn’t intended for anyone to hear but with his mask off and Michael standing right next to him, the comment didn’t go unheard.

Not that Michael was offended, he couldn’t help but burst out laughing because Ryan’s comment was fucking hilarious as well as being a little accurate. Ryan looked a little embarrassed at being heard not that it mattered because Michael assumed he was the only one who heard since everyone else just looked confused. “What’s so funny?” Gavin asked, sounding a little offended since he probably assumed that Michael was laughing at him.

“Nothing boi, just remembered something funny,” Michael said smiling at Gavin so he’d let it go Ryan gently kicked at Michael’s foot to show his thanks, Michael nudged back to let him know that he’d understood.

“I want Michael to help us make our entrance, Gav you’ll be our eyes to make sure no one tries anything when we’re doing our intimidating.”

“So the Gents are going to be scary, Michael gets to play pyro, and all I get to do is watch!”

“Sorry Gavvy,” Michael said already thinking about what he could use to create the biggest show with the smallest amount of potential damage to Jack, Geoff, and Ryan.

“You don’t usually have a problem with just watching,” Geoff said, a failed attempt at being funny so that Gavin would stop pouting.

“Well that’s for sexy stuff ‘innit. Not when I have to miss Michael making stuff explode.”

“We’ll have Michael blow something up just for you since you’re gonna bitch and moan about it.” Geoff said, “Michael I’m going to want you with us, it’ll be one more big name to throw around. But I want to keep you out of the thick of it as much as possible.”

Michael nodded, adjusting his planned explosion accordingly. “What is the plan exactly? Is there one?” Ryan asked.

“I don’t know what Geoff’s plan is, but I thought it would look cool if you walked through the explosions. I can make them look bad with little to no damage to you or the building, in case you want to keep the warehouse or whatever after you scared them off.” Michael said.

“That is badass!” Geoff said looking excited, “you could time it so we’d walk in through the explosion? Like boom and then we stroll in, oh they’d totally shit themselves that is awesome!” Geoff was bouncing on his feet looking at Michael and Michael was getting excited as well thinking about the different explosives he could use.

“Sorry, can we go back to little to no damage to us. Is there a way we could make that no damage?” Ryan asked.

“Well yeah,” Michael rushed to reassure, “it’ll be remote detonations, probably more sound than actual boom, set close enough to the entrance where it’ll look fucking bad ass when you all walk through the doors. It’ll shake the ground and break enough shit where all eyes should definitely be on you when you walk in, then you can do your threatening or whatever.”

“Sounds top,” Gavin said actually looking excited for the job he’d be watching through his computer screen.

“Can you place those quickly if you’re on site?” Geoff asked, “We won’t have much time before they realize we’re there, it’s a small set up they’ve got out there, so there won’t be much in the way of guards but they’ll still have a lookout or two.”

“I can mod some stuff, make them quick and easy to place. Or I could use a timer on a sticky bomb, if you think that’d work better. A timer is going to limit your options though, you’ll have to go in when it goes off, well before it goes off really, most of the stuff that’s going to have a timer on it is also going to have a bigger detonation, it just comes with the territory.”

“Your original idea, with a small explosion and small damage, is that something that can be done quickly on site. That’s what we want if we can have it, timer or remote detonation doesn’t really matter just whatever you think will work the best.”

“Geoffrey,” Michael said with a grin, “I’m the best in the business, I can do anything you can imagine and then some.”

“Alright then, with the pyrotechnics out of the way, let’s get down to the nitty gritty then, boys. We’re going to hit ‘em hard and fast. Fuck up their transport and either trash their stock or take it for our boys to distribute, if it’s any good.”

“Are you going to walk in, in sync like the mean girls from a teen movie?” Michael asked, “You at the front and Jack and Ryan slightly behind you.”

“The only way I’m doing that is if Bossass Bitch plays behind us as we walk in,” Ryan said and his emotionless voice had Michael only partially sure he was kidding.

“You are one weird motherfucker Ryan,” Geoff said through his laughter.

Michael was a little embarrassed that he ever thought Ryan was scary, or even crazy now that he thought about it. He’d been with them for a couple months now, and all the rumors that had gone around about Ryan were so far from the truth it was laughable. People wanted to make Ryan out to be dark and crazy, a cold and calculating serial killer. But really, the asshole was just a huge dork, he made awful jokes and hated wearing his contacts when he wasn’t in his mask, which meant he was always wearing his glasses around the house. 

He was good at playing the stoic, crazy guy though, when he had to. Their admin gig, scaring the shit out of Felix and the Corpirate had gone brilliantly with Ryan walking in behind Geoff. Michael had managed to make the remote bombs work, planting them quickly between the guards’ rounds and blowing them up right before the three Gents walked through the front door, it looked fucking badass even without the song playing in the background like Ryan wanted. Geoff walked through the flames and started fucking shit up. Once most of Felix and the Corpirate’s stock was covering the floor is when Geoff started reminding them just why he was on top. He was mostly just fucking around, Geoff liked pretending to be the controlling kingpin just as much as Ryan seemed to like playing the crazy killer. Geoff’s newest bit he was using to scare these lowlifes seemed to be that he was collecting well known people in the business to be his playthings. He had kissed Ryan messily, rolling his mask up just enough to plant one on him. Everyone knew about Geoff and Jack, so a display of so-called ownership wasn’t necessary between the two of them. Geoff called Michael in, after he flipped another table covered in merchandise and grabbed a small stack of money and lit it on fire in front of Felix and the Corpirate. He wrapped a possessive arm around Michael’s neck when he walked in and pulled him in flush against his chest. Geoff smiled at the two who attempted to make a move on his criminal empire, it was more like he was baring his teeth at the two of them. “Try anything like this again,” he warned, “and you’ll be what I set on fire next.” The two looked panicked and Geoff laughed in their faces, a cold and harsh sound that was so different than the happy guffaw that usually echoed around the penthouse. “Now get the fuck out of here, before I tell my dear Mogar to blow this fucker up with you still trapped inside.” Those two assholes tripping over each other in their hurry to get out of the warehouse was the funniest thing that Michael had seen in weeks.

Things had been tame since that though, there hadn’t been many heists that Geoff thought they should run. Geoff and Jack both agreed that it was best if they seemed like they were too far above it all to run petty hits on convenience stores. They needed to keep up the illusion that they had created in the warehouse for a few weeks as they let the rumors spread through the city. It looked bad if the leader of the most influential gang in the city went from busting heads to grabbing loose change from gas stations. People who had the same mutinous thoughts as Felix and the Corpirate might decide to try their luck if they saw that. So they all lounged around in the penthouse twiddling their thumbs for weeks before Geoff decided it was safe to do anything. Michael and Gavin made it their goal to get Ryan to play Nintendo with them since Geoff and Jack wouldn’t. 

It was starting to feel like they would be trapped in the penthouse for forever when Geoff finally walked into the living room where Gavin and Michael were laying across Ryan bickering with each other. “Get in here assholes, it’s time to heist again.”

Michael and Gavin both bolted up, apologizing to Ryan when he groaned as sharp elbows jabbed into him. They helped him up and pulled him along with them as they raced to the kitchen to hear what the heist was. “What are we doing, Geoff?” Michael asked tugging on Geoff’s arm like a young child who needed attention.

“It’s big, bud,” Geoff said, a mischievous grin on his face, “the biggest thing we’ve done since we’ve brought you on probably.”

“Are we gonna hit the bank Geoffrey?” Gavin asked.

“Well you ruined the surprise, jackass.” Geoff said, flicking Gavin in between the eyes.

“Ow, that’s not nice you prick. I was just asking.”

“We want to hit the bank, but I don’t think five people are going to be enough. We’ve got Ryan, and we know he works with us as a team pretty well.”

“I work with teams a lot, I don’t know why people are always so surprised,” Ryan muttered.

“But it would really work better with six people.” Geoff continued as if Ryan hadn’t said anything, “Most of the crew is out doing other things, I wanted to just bring in Kdin but apparently I’d given him another job already.” 

“What about Matt and Jeremy?” Gavin asked.

“Doing whatever the hell it is Kdin is doing.”

“Caleb?” Michael suggested.

“Nope,” was all Geoff answered.

“Where the bloody hell is Caleb?” Gavin cried.

“Fuck knows, probably doing something else I don’t remember telling anyone to do.” Geoff sighed.

“So who the hell do you think you’re going to get to make this thing work?”

“Well I was hoping Michael would call Lindsay and ask her if she’d come in and work with us?” he asked looking at Michael with a desperate look.

“I could try but I was annoying her last night, so I don’t think she’d even answer. What do you need her for?” Michael said.

“We need a fucking sniper and no one who collects a regular paycheck from me is available.”

“I don’t think Lindsay would answer if I called her again. Even if she did, she probably wouldn’t snipe it’s not her skill set or some shit.”

“She’s an assassin! What the hell is her skill set?”

“She likes to beat them up first or something, I don’t know only time she sniped for me was because she had ulterior motives.”

“Can we do this without a sniper?” Geoff asked looking at Jack.

“I am not letting you walk into this bank without someone on the roof watching out for you.” Jack said, “Find a sniper or we’re not running the heist.”

“I could call Ray,” Michael suggested, “see if he’s in the area. He might be willing to snipe for us.”

“Ray,” Geoff said slowly, as if he was making sure he heard right.

“Yeah, I mean I’ve never actually worked with him, but I’ve heard he’s one of the best.”

“Ray,” Geoff said again, “like BrownMan, Ray? Like best sniper on either side of the country Ray?”

“Um, yeah I guess. I’ve never actually worked with him, we just play Halo together mostly.” Michael said not sure what Geoff was so upset about.

“So you have BrownMan’s number and never thought to throw that out, like ever?”

“You never asked,” Michael said shrugging as Geoff gaped at him.

“What Geoff is trying to say is call him, please,” Jack said.

Michael nodded, pulling out his phone and calling Ray putting it on speaker to save time. “Stay quiet ‘til I tell him he’s on speaker. I don’t need him thinking I’m ambushing him with this job.”

“Of course bud, we won’t embarrass you in front of your friend,” Geoff whispered in Michael’s ear.

“Hello,” Ray said, his voice tinny over the phone’s shitty speaker.

“Hey dickhead,” Michael said, smiling at the sound of Ray’s voice it’d been a while since they’d actually talked.

“Shit, I didn’t even check who was calling before I answered. What do you want asshole? If you got kidnapped I’m not paying the fucking ransom.”

“Fuck you, that was one fucking time and once I sobered up I got out just fine by myself.” Michael rolled his eyes and ignored the worried looks and muffled snickering that he was getting from everyone.

“What do you want Michael, I’m in the middle of something.” Ray said.

“You’re playing Call of Duty, I can fucking hear it. Leave the twelve year olds to play and we can talk business. I gotta job for you, if you want it.”

“I’m interested,” Ray said, Michael heard him miss a shot so he knew that Ray was actually listening.

“How close are you to Los Santos?” Michael asked trying to sound casual like it was just a normal conversation.

“Fuck dude, I’m in a whole ‘nother state. Why the hell would I fly out to Los Santos to help you out?”

“What if I said it wasn’t just me you’d be working with?” Michael asked.

“That’s not really an incentive dude, I’ve never even really worked with you but I’ve at least seen how you play video games.”

“What if you were working for Geoff Ramsey though, hypothetically?” Michael asked.

“Is this punk’d, do you have Ashton Kutcher there with you? Fucking Geoff Ramsey, you’re so full of shit.”

“I’ve got him right here,” Michael shouted, “you can fucking talk to him.”

“Sure,” Ray drawled. “Yeah let’s hear from the mighty Geoff Ramsey, I’d love to hear another one of your shitty impressions.”

“Geoff,” Michael whined, looking at the man who was barely holding back laughter.

“Ray, we really would like to bring you in for this job,” Geoff finally said, “it’s kinda short notice, but we’d really like you in here by tomorrow, the next day at the latest, to help us with a heist.”

“Shit,” Ray said, “you weren’t kidding. Michael Jones is working in the big leagues, and he’s finally remembering the little people.”

“Don’t be an asshole, are you gonna come work with us or not?”

“Who’s on this team?” Ray asked.

“Well it’s Geoff Ramsey, dude, so Jack’s obviously on the team.”

“Hi, Ray,” Jack said.

“Then there’s our tech guy, Gavin.” Michael continued.

“Do people ever call you X-ray?” Gavin asked in lieu of a hello.

“No, no they do not,” Ray answered his tone much nicer than Michael’s would have been.

“They should, it’d be like you were a superhero.”

“You are such a dumbass, Gav,” Michael said.

“That could be your superhero name,” Ryan teased, “the Dynamic Dumbass.”

Gavin wiggled so that he was under Ryan’s arm and pressed against the length of his body. “That’s not nice, Ryan.”

Ryan bopped his nose with his index finger, “I’m not nice, Gavin.”

“What about Vav, X-ray and Vav sounds like a couple of kickass superheroes.” Ray said.

“Are they characters in a kids cartoon?” Michael asked.

“X-ray and Vav,” Gavin cheered, “sounds bloody top!”

“Back to the team you’ll be working on.” Michael said pointedly, “There’s me obviously and then Ryan rounds off the team.”

“Ryan?” Ray asked, “No way dude, you have to be fucking kidding.”

“What?” Ryan asked looking at Michael and using that low tone that he used when he was trying to scare others.

“You’re a big name Rye-bread, you can’t blame Ray for asking if it was really you.” Michael said.

“What the hell,” Ray said, sounding a little awed. “How on earth did _you_ end up on a team with these people?”

“I’m the best in the business baby, don’t sound so surprised. So you in or what?” Michael asked.

“Of course stupid, booked my flight while you were talking cause YOLO. I’ll be there by ten tomorrow if everything goes right.”

“Let’s start planning then, I want to move on this the second the wheels touch the ground.” Geoff said.

Geoff, Ryan, and Michael were the one’s that went in the bank. Geoff’s reasoning being that the three most recognizable should go in but Michael was sure that he just liked being in the center of the action. Jack was driving the getaway car and had been charged with picking up Ray and getting him to the roof across from the bank where Michael and the other two gents were loitering waiting for the go ahead. Michael and the Gents would escape in the getaway vehicle and escape the cops, Ray would pick off the ones he could from the roof and then slip away on a bike that they’d left for him in the alley. Then they would all meet up with Gavin who was doing what he could with surveillance while sitting in Geoff’s minivan on the waterfront.

That was the plan anyway. What actually happened was the Geoff, Michael, and Ryan hid in an alley next to the bank until they heard Jack and Ray’s voices come in on comms. “We’re in position,” Jack told them.

“Alright bitches, let’s fuck shit up,” Geoff crowed.

Which was about the point that things started going less smoothly. The three of them burst into the bank with their guns blazing. They’d barely gotten the money in the bags when they heard the sirens outside, “We’ve got company,” Ray said his voice tinny in their ears.

“No one hit the emergency call button and I can’t see anyone with a phone, they must be nearby,” Gavin said and you could hear him nervously tapping away at his computer over the comms.

“Fuck,” Geoff shouted, “take the bags, fuck the safe we’ll just have to take what we have.”

“Popo’s got us surrounded, Geoff,” Michael said as they walked out the door.

“Jack, where are you,” Geoff demanded and Michael searched for the vehicle they had planned to get away in.

“I got moved behind the police barricade,” Jack’s voice said in their ear, “I’m as close as I can get but you’ll have to get past the first wall of cops.”

“Ray?” Geoff prompted.

“Picking people off the best I can, I swear the fuckers are respawning.” Ray answered.

Michael slipped away from Geoff and Ryan, back into the alley that they had started the heist in. He grabbed his bag that he’d left there, Geoff had told him to be prepared for anything and Michael had taken the man very seriously. The duffel Michael had brought had several different small explosives but Michael was more interested in the dismantled rocket launcher sitting on the top of the bag. 

He quickly assembled it, practiced hands putting the pieces together in seconds. “Hey Geoff, Ryan, you might wanna duck,” he called.

The rocket went soaring over the two men’s heads and landed in the windshield of one of the cop cars blocking their way. The car exploded, flipping and crashing on top of the car to the right of it, the blast radius on the explosive making quick work of the cops both in and around the car. “Holy shit, Michael,” Geoff said sounding impressed.

“Just clearing the path boss, you said to come prepared.” Michael said, flushing at the praise.

“How many more of those you got?” Ryan asked as Michael walked over to them with the launcher on his shoulder.

“One or two, enough to get us to Jack.” Michael punctuated his sentence by sending another missile into the mob of cops clearing a small path in the middle that led to the barricade.

They ran to the small hole and the cops instantly swarmed to grab them.

“Fire a couple missiles and the cops are all over your ass.” Michael said.

“Who’da thunk,” Jack said laughing over the comms.

“What jerks,” Ryan said, Michael could see him from the corner of his eye and knew he was smiling behind the skull mask as he gunned down a couple cops that were running in.

“I’m right in front of you,” Jack told them, “just a couple feet more and we’re home free.”

Michael grinned at the idea, a few more feet and then he’d be on his way to actually seeing Ray for the first time.

They’d reached the barricade, almost, Geoff and Ryan were both ahead of him, firing shots into the crowd of police as they alternated tossing the duffels filled with cash in the opened trunk. Michael was getting ready to hop the small barricade when a hand grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him back, “Fuck,” he shouted.

A very nervous sounding, “Michael?” came from the four people who could actually see what’s going on and Gavin’s confused voice joined them, “What’s bloody happening?”

Michael shot behind him at the guy who’d grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the fray. The grip on his arm vanishing for a second before someone else grabbed him again. Michael saw Ryan move to jump back over the barricade after him, Geoff not far behind, “Get the fuck out of here,” Michael barked, “I’ll find a car and find you, don’t be fucking stupid”

“Michael, the only one being stupid here is you,” Ray said. “You’re fucking surrounded, there’s no way in hell you’re getting out of there by yourself.”

Michael fired a few more rounds behind him, recovering some of the ground he had lost by being dragged backward by the more daring members of the LSPD. “So start helping me then, that’s your damn job. Geoff, Ryan, if you two don’t get the fuck out of here I’m going to let them arrest me for fun.”

The two slowly got in the car, Michael could see them hating themselves for it and moved torturously slow so they could pull Michael in the car with him if he managed to escape. “I want you fucking narrating,” Geoff ordered.

Michael rolled his eyes, still firing into the crowd, especially at whoever happened to grab ahold of him every time he tried to move forward. “Just fucking go,” Michael shouted.

“You are such a fucking dumbass,” Ray had been chanting, easily tuned out in its rhythmic repetition.

“Just clear my way, when I’m no longer actually in life threatening danger you can continue whispering those sweet nothings Ray.”

“Life-threatening,” Gavin squawked.

“Don’t worry about it boi,” Michael said as a cop actually fired back at him, the bullet was far from actually life threatening but the bullet did graze him and it hurt like a bitch. “Fuck, okay time to go. Ray, can you see a way out?”

“Just move straight, I’ll clear your path,” Ray said tersely.

Michael moved quickly and silently, taking out a couple cops that Ray hadn’t taken out. He made it over the police barricade and grabbed a bike that had been left on the street. “Keep talking Michael,” Geoff ordered, “what’s happening?”

“I’m on a bike, heading away from the cops,” Michael answered. “I might have gotten shot,” he mumbled that last portion hoping that they wouldn’t hear.

“What?” they all shouted at him.

“I’m on my way out, it doesn’t look like anyone is following. I’ll be at the meet up in a few minutes if things stay this calm.”

“Did you say you got shot?” Ryan asked in a dangerous voice, Michael knew it wasn’t actually directed at him and he felt really sorry for anyone who ever actually had it pointed at them. There was a reason Ryan had a reputation for being a scary motherfucker and it was shit like this that reminded Michael exactly why.

“I’m fine Rye-bread,” Michael said, “it’s just a graze, Jack can just stitch me up when we get back home.”

“You need stitches,” Ray asked and his voice sounded almost as low and dangerous as Ryan’s had a second ago. It sounded weird coming from Michael’s usually laid back friend.

“Look I’m like five minutes away,” Michael said, “you can all play mother hen or whatever you need to do when I get there.”

Michael took a few laps around the block to make sure he’d gotten rid of any potential police tails, he parked the bike that he’d taken from the street behind where Ray’s was sitting. He was going to have to blow up all of the vehicles that they’d used for the heist to get rid of any potential evidence, but the way his team was stalking toward him put most thoughts of explosions out of his head except the ones where he was worried about his crew exploding at him. Ray got to him first and the rest of the crew stood behind him, “You are a fucking asshole!” Ray said getting in Michael’s face and jabbing an angry finger at his chest, accidentally brushing the purple tattoo that colored Michael’s collarbone with those same words.

Michael didn’t smile because he knew that if he did so it would only set Ray off more, but even with a bullet wound in his arm, he felt giddy knowing that Ray was his fifth and final soulmate. “I love you too, Ray,” Michael said sweetly, knowing that it wouldn’t make things better but at least his first words could be pleasant.

Ray flushed but the angry look in his eyes didn’t go away even if he was smiling a little bit, “Fuck you Jones, first time I actually meet you and your fucking bleeding, dumbass.”

“It’s just a boo-boo Ray, I’m gonna be fine,” Michael said with a grin. “Tell me you’re glad to see me.”

“Fuck you,” Ray said, just to be stubborn, “shouldn’t have wasted the money to come out here.”

“Don’t say that X-ray then you wouldn’t have met us,” Gavin said from behind him. “Micoo, are you okay?” he asked coming up and over to him and looking him over.

“Course I am, boi,” Michael said, “you and Ray are getting all worked up over nothin’.”

“You think we’re worked up!” Gavin said, “Thought the Gents were going to lose their minds. They’re hiding back there trying to act like they weren’t but once they come over they’re going to mother hen you until you wish they’d piss off.”

“We weren’t that upset,” Geoff said, trying to seem cool as he slowly walked up to them but Michael could see the how tense the man was, “I know that Michael can handle himself, we didn’t hire him just because he’s nice to look at.”

“Speak for yourself,” Jack said, running over to Michael and checking him over. “You’re going to need a couple stitches,” he murmured as he gingerly looked at Michael’s shoulder where the bullet had grazed him.

“What, you think I’m just a pretty face Jack,” Michael asked cheekily.

“No, I think I was worried sick about having to leave you behind.” Jack answered pressing a kiss to his forehead, “Don’t do it again.”

Michael nodded, feeling bad that he’d worried Jack. Ryan came up next, mask off since they were trying to keep a low profile now that they’d lost the cops, running a hand through Michael’s curls and using his grip to tip Michael’s head back so he was looking Ryan in the eyes. “If anyone lays a hand on you again I’m going to break their legs and leave them in a hole.”

“Jesus Rye, don’t be such a creep,” Michael said blushing.

Ryan’s creepy murder smile spread across his face, it was a stupidly attractive look and Ryan of all people knew that it was a hell of a turn on. “You like it when I’m protective,” he said.

“Not that this isn’t super hot,” Geoff said, “but we do have the cops after us and Michael is slowly bleeding out.” Geoff ground out the last half of that sentence like it pissed him off to even finish saying it. Hearing it pissed Ryan off as his grip in Michael’s hair tightened at the words, a soft whine slipping from his lips at the hair pulling. “Get in the car you two, bunch of horny teenagers all of you.”

Michael nodded breaking away long enough to place a couple of timed explosives on the vehicles they’d used to get to they meet up point. They wouldn’t go off for a while, giving them plenty of time to be far away from the site of the explosion.

“We’re driving back in a minivan?” Ray asked, “I thought you were kidding.”

“I never kid, Ray,” Michael said rejoining the group.

“Why the hell are we riding in a minivan?”

“How many times have you seen a minivan get pulled over in this town? Who’s going to think that the six people who just robbed the bank in town would be driving back into the same town in a soccer mom car? Also it’s so hard to find a car that fits six people that looks nice.” Geoff said.

“And if you lay the back seat down flat there’s plenty of room for sexy stuff,” Michael added.

Geoff groaned, “The only people who can fuck in the back of this fucking van are you and Gav. The rest of us are too old for that shit.”

“Speak for yourself,” Ryan said.

“Why would I speak for you,” Geoff asked with a cheeky grin, “you’re fucking psycho I don’t think I’d be able to.”

“So I’m starting to feel a little woozy, maybe it’s the blood loss, can we go home?” Michael asked.

That sapped some of the joviality from the occasion. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Geoff said. Geoff slid into the front seat and Jack in the passenger seat beside him. Gavin, Ryan, and Ray slid into the backseat with Ray taking the middle as the smallest. Ryan pulled Michael into his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist to buckle him into the car. 

“Keep an eye on his arm,” Jack ordered, turning around to give them all a stern look, “and don’t let him fall asleep.”

“Jesus Jack,” Michael said, “I barely got grazed, I’m not going to bleed to death in the back seat of the car.”

“Tell that to the blood that’s seeping through my shirt,” Ryan said softly in Michael’s ear.

“I’ll pay for your dry cleaning bill, just take it out of my cut.”

“I’d rather have you pay in other ways.”

“You two are weird as dicks,” Geoff said, “why the fuck do you two get so horny after shit like this?”

“Oh come on, Geoffrey,” Michael said, “don’t act like you don’t get a little hot under the collar after a heist.”

“Ryan does look awfully pretty covered in other people’s blood,” Gavin admitted.

Michael snuggled further into Ryan’s lap, “Yeah, he does.”

“Don’t send what little blood you have left in your brain down to your dick,” Ray said.

Michael smiled down at him, “Hey Ray, spend a lot of time thinking about my dick?”

“Well it does make up most of your personality.”

“Fucking got ‘em,” Geoff cheered.

Michael was smiling and about to respond something extremely witty about how he still had plenty of dick left, when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He wiggled around in Ryan’s lap as he tried to find his phone. Ryan’s grip on his waist tightened as Michael pulled out his phone victoriously, he smiled unapologetically up at Ryan as he answered, “Hey Linds.”

“Oh good,” Lindsay sounded like she was relaxing as she was speaking, “so you aren’t the asshole who got shot in front of the bank.”

Michael winced slightly and he could hear Ryan snicker in his ear since he was close enough to Michael to hear what Lindsay was saying through the phone. “Yeah, no I might have been that person.”

“What the hell, Jones? You guys should know that the bank is more than a five guy job, why didn’t you call me?”

“Last time I called you, you told me to never call you again, especially if it was for a job. We didn’t have five people though Linds, we’re not stupid.”

“Then who’d you bring in, you don’t have that many people you work with.” Ryan laughed again, quietly so that it wouldn’t get picked up by the receiver his breath was warm on Michael’s neck and a shiver went down his spine.

“We have plenty of people we work with, you have such an ego Tuggey. Plus I’m not going to give you a breakdown of a crime we may or may not have committed, your phone could be tapped or some shit.”

“Please,” she said like Michael was being ridiculous. Then continued to speak and tried to figure it out without Michael answering at all, “There were three people at the bank. You obviously, Ryan I saw his mask so I know he was there, and I bet Geoff was the third doing robbery because who else would do it. Jack must have been the driver because I’ve heard you talk about Gavin’s driving and they’re the only two left. So Gavin is waiting somewhere else, watching security feeds probably. Which means he probably didn’t do a very good job of if the cops showed up.”

“Well that’s arguable.”

“What isn’t arguable is that you would need a sniper on the roof, so who’d you use?”

“Ray,” Michael mumbled hoping that neither Lindsay nor the people in the car with him would be able to hear him.

“You are kidding me,” Lindsay cooed, sounding like Michael just gave her the best gift she could ask for.

“Don’t know what I would be kidding about.”

“Chill out, just thinking it’s funny that you finally get to work with this guy you’ve been fanboying over for the last like forever.”

Michael flushed and tilted his head back to try and catch Ryan’s eye, Ryan smirked when Michael looked up at him and Michael knew that he’d heard every word. He glanced over at Ray and saw him chatting with Gavin, if he’d heard what Lindsay had said he didn’t show it. “I wouldn’t go that far,” Michael said keeping his voice low and even, so that no one other than Ryan would wonder what was going on.

“Oh, am I on speaker?” Lindsay asked, trying to sound like she was apologizing but sounding more like she was excited that she might have been embarrassing him without even knowing it.

“No, and you don’t need to sound so ridiculously pleased at the idea.”

“But someone can hear at least you, right? You’re being way to chill about all of this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Michael said calmly, hearing how forced and weird it sounded as he was saying it.

Lindsay laughed, “Even you have to hear how full of shit you sound.”

“Nope, don’t think I do.” Michael answered as they pulled the car into the garage.

“At this point in our friendship I feel like I should have gotten used to how you’re living in denial.”

“Don’t know if I’d say I’m living there, it’s really more of a vacation spot.”

“What’s a vacation spot, Micoo?” Gavin asked turning his attention to Michael.

Michael was saved from having to make something up by Ryan who said, “Lindsay was criticizing our heist and is now trying to steal Michael’s apartment to turn it into a bang pad.”

“I would be offended that these lies are being spread about me,” Lindsay said in Michael’s ear, “but that actually sounds like a pretty good idea. Thank Ryan for me, also don’t come back to your apartment for a little while.”

“What?” Gavin said at the same time, “Why does Lindsay get your apartment? We’re the ones bloody shagging you, we should get first dibs.”

“We have half of a penthouse we don’t ever use Gav, why would we want to use Michael’s shitty apartment for anything?” Geoff asked.

“Wait, if Ryan is covering for you does that mean he could hear everything?” Lindsay asked, her voice mingling with Geoff’s as they spoke at the same time.

“Well you wouldn’t be using it,” Gavin told Geoff.

“What? Yeah, kinda,” Michael said struggling to hear Lindsay over the rest of the noise that now filled the car. A feeling of nausea was starting to creep in on him as he tried to separate the different voices that were surrounding him.

“What? Why wouldn’t I be using it?” Geoff asked in a loud voice, voice cracking at the start of his question at the increase in volume.

“That must be embarrassing for you,” she commented her voice barely heard over Gavin as he responded to Geoff.

“Because Geoffrey, it’d be a lad pad. That means no gents allowed.”

Michael was starting to feel a little sick to his stomach and he wondered why they were all still sitting in the car when they had pulled into the garage what felt like ages ago. “Why do you need a lad pad?” Geoff asked. Not that Michael could really hear him, he was trying to listen to Lindsay as she kept speaking though her words were also going in one ear and out the other. Maybe it was the blood loss that was partially at fault, but Michael couldn’t take it anymore he was going to be sick. He shoved his phone into Ryan’s chest as he threw open the door of the van and fell out of it onto the floor of the garage. He half crawled half ran to one of the garbage cans that they kept in just about every room for Gavin and his hair trigger gag reflex. Michael emptied what little he had in his stomach, the feeling of nausea passing once he did.

Jack climbed out of the car right after Michael squatting on the floor beside him and running a hand through his hair. “You okay bud?” Geoff’s concerned voice called out from behind him.

Michael spit, trying to get the vomit taste out of this mouth, “Fucking dandy.”

“Keep Gavin away from here,” Jack said, “we don’t need more than one mess to clean up. Let’s get you in the house, Michael, and get you stitched up.”

Michael followed Jack into the house obediently, knowing that it wouldn’t be a good idea not to do what Jack told him to. He was a lot like a mama bear on the best of days, and since Michael could still feel the wound bleeding a little bit, he knew that Jack wouldn’t really take no for an answer if he said anything.

“Where’s Ray going to stay while he’s here?” Gavin asked bounding behind Michael and Jack as they went into the house, Geoff and Ray were right on his heels and Michael noticed that Ryan stayed out in the garage now talking to Lindsay on the phone he’d had thrown at him.

“In the house, dumbass, where else would he go?” Michael said.

“Duh, Micoo but where is he staying in the house?”

Jack’s hand on Michael’s uninjured shoulder pushed him gently down onto the sofa in the living room, the stay there was unspoken as Jack left and went to the kitchen in search of their first aid kit.

“He can stay in Michael’s room, if he wants to stay here at all,” Geoff said turning to Ray, “that way you’ll be in a room that’s at least been used in the last year. Can’t remember the last time we even opened the doors to the other ones.”

“Won’t Michael be using Michael’s room?” Ray asked as Jack came back in the room with the first aid kit in one hand and a shot glass in the other.

“Why would Michael do that?” Gavin asked sounding genuinely confused.

“Because it’s Michael’s room?” Ray responded sounding equally confused.

“Only because that’s where he first put his shite when he moved in,” Gavin said.

Jack handed Michael the shot glass, “Take this.”

“Besides the gents won’t let Michael out of their sight for the next few days,” Gavin said in a fake whisper like he was telling Ray some kind of secret.

Michael ignored Gavin and took the shot that had been put in his hand by Jack, “Where’s Ryan?” He asked hating the pitiful lilt his voice always seemed to have after getting injured like this.

“Here,” Ryan said pressing a kiss to the top of his head from behind the couch.

Michael relaxed and felt stupid because he had no reason to be tense and didn’t even know when he’d tensed up. Maybe he’d always been tense, and now that the people who belonged to his soul marks were all here he could finally relax. It could also just be the alcohol that Jack had given him taking effect and allowing him to relax; which felt like the answer he was going to go with.

“Why are we putting Ray in Michael’s room?” Ryan asked carefully squishing himself into the small open spot on the couch on Michael’s uninjured side. He made sure he did it without disturbing Jack as the other man was carefully cutting away at Michael’s shirt so he could get at the wound.

“Where else would we put him?” Geoff asked.

“Well given what we’ve learned about him I can think of a couple places.”

“Ryan you say that but you spent weeks hiding around the house at night before you came to stay with us,” Gavin pointed out.

Michael laughed softly, wincing as the movement messed with the needle Jack was using to stitch his arm closed with. “Gav has a point, I walked into the kitchen one night and found you just standing there staring.”

Ryan chuckled and his cheeks colored a little. "In my defense that time it was insomnia that had me awake and you startled me."

"Now you'll have Ray and his fucked up sleeping schedule to keep you out of trouble, since you refuse to wake us up when you have a bad night." Michael said, slumping against Ryan now that Jack was cleaning the area he'd stitched up. 

"You have enough bad nights without me adding my shit to it."

"Fucking softy." Michael said in a fond voice and then added in a more demanding tone, “Ray isn’t sleeping in my room, he’s gonna stay with us.”

“Michael,” Geoff said chastisingly, “you can’t just make demands like that without making sure it’s okay.”

“But Geoff,” he whined looking up at him through batted eyes, “I’m injured.”

Geoff softened slightly but stayed firm on the point, “I know that bud, but you can’t make demands like that without asking if it’s okay first. We didn’t do that to you.”

Michael looked thoroughly abashed and mumbled, “Sorry, everyone’s here now, just didn’t want to be split from anybody.”

Michael realized that that’s where the tension he had felt earlier had come from. He’d been waiting for forever to meet all these dicks and now they were all here and they were at home and Michael really wanted to spend the next forever just getting to know these assholes. Now that everyone was finally where they should be, instead of spread across the fucking globe, his whole body just unclenched, and maybe because of it he was a little guilty of trying to rush things.

“It’s fine,” Ray said, “I’m used to Michael being a pushy asshole.”’

“Think you could make yourself sound a little more pitiful, Michael?” Jack asked.

“Fuck you, I’m trying to have a touching moment here and all I get is grief from you assholes. Maybe I will use my own damn room for once.” Michael shouted slipping easily into what Geoff liked to call his Rage Quit persona.

“Nah,” Ryan said putting an end to the discussion by flipping on the TV to the news coverage of their heist. Michael smiled down at the ground and let Ryan keep him pinned to the couch with an arm draped heavily across his shoulders, carefully minding his new stitches. The others let the subject drop as well, knowing better than to fight it now that Ryan had said the conversation was over, and they piled around the couch to see what the reporters had to say about the Fake AH crew’s latest exploits.

Ray didn’t end up in their room that first night, but then none of them did. What started as them watching the latest news about their crime turned into movie night when Geoff found out that Ray hadn’t seen some flick he kept insisting was a classic and when that ended they put on some shitty comedy. 

They drifted off with the movie playing in the background, crashing from their earlier adrenaline high they felt during the robbery. First went Gavin who was curled up in the armchair with Geoff, Gav was usually the first to pass out because he spent so much more energy than everyone else bouncing around like a dumbass. Jack followed not long after that, Michael could hear his soft snoring from the other end of the couch and his head lolled back in a way that would probably have him bitching the next day. It was one of Ryan’s good nights, Michael could feel his breathing even out from where he was laying on his chest as he slipped into sleep and while he might be up again in a few hours he was at least asleep for now. Geoff went next and he didn’t go quietly, they all knew once Gavin drifted off in the chair that they would end up sleeping in the living room and Geoff complained about it until the time he passed out with his head resting against Gavin’s. Michael always had trouble sleeping after getting shot, it didn’t happen often but the few times it did he’d noticed that it took a while to drift off to dreamland. He spent the time waiting for sleep to come talking to Ray instead of counting sheep, they whispered back and forth for a while catching up on all the things that had passed since the last time Michael had actually called Ray which they quickly figured out had been a long time ago. They kept their conversation quiet and slowly the gaps between speech got longer as Ray drifted off mid-sentence, the sentence had been about how he hadn’t really slept in a couple days but he had always insisted that he shot better after going without sleep for at least a full day. 

Michael lay there for a few minutes just listening to the even breathing and soft snoring of the five people around him, his five soulmates or whatever, and he took back all the shit that he’d said about his tattoos. Sure, they had been annoying when he was young, but now that he was here with the people who matched him, he felt good or complete or some other sappy bullshit that he wouldn’t admit to thinking in the light of day. So, Michael snuggled farther into Ryan’s side, using his chest as a pillow and sighed out, “Love you guys,” as he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, this was my first foray into the world of RPF as well as writing for this fandom and I hope it wasn't too offensive. I don't use my tumblr often anymore but feel free to stop by if you want to talk, I'm at [formosusiniquis](http://formosusiniquis.tumblr.com/).


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